u/Small_University3868

I’m 40M, my wife is 38F. Before marriage I felt fine. After marriage I feel like I’ve lost myself. We live a stable upper-middle life. Money is not great, but we are not poor. Still she often looks at other people’s lives and acts like ours is a failure. Small issues turn into fights. She talks as if I’m the only useless man and everyone else is perfect. She also says I spoiled her life. She is not intimate with me in any sense. Most of the time it is blame, comparison, and distance. Is this a common problem in marriages, or is this something specific I need to deal with differently? Men who have been through this, what actually helped?