My friend thinks I might be trans and now I can’t stop thinking about it
Hi! This is actually my first time seriously using Reddit, I usually browsed without an account just to read some posts, but I felt the need to create one to ask this, so I’m sorry if this post is awkward or badly formatted…
I’I’ve been feeling really confused lately and I wanted to ask to trans people how they realized they were trans, and what that felt like for them.
Recently I was talking with a friend from the LGBT community, and he pointed out something I had honestly never thought much about before: in basically every videogame or TTRPG, I always create female characters. I told him it’s because female characters feel easier and more comfortable for me to roleplay, while male characters feels... strange? I don’t really know how to explain it properly. They just feels wrong in a way I can’t fully describe
The thing is, this goes back to when I was a kid. I remember on Club Penguin and other online games, I used to dress my character as a girl and introduce myself as one to other people online. I think part of it was that nobody could see me, so nobody would question it i guess.
After talking more deeply with my friend, he told me that maybe I should explore the possibility that I could be trans. Before this conversation, I honestly didn’t know much about gender identity at all. I’m not very involved in LGBT spaces or discussions, and a lot of these concepts are still very new to me
But ever since that conversation, I can’t stop thinking about it. I realized that, deep down, I think I really wish I had been born a girl. And now I feel extremely confused, because I don’t know what that means or what I’m supposed to do with these feelings
So I guess my main question is: how did you know you were trans? What did it feel like for you in the beginning? How do you tell the difference between curiosity, escapism, and actually being trans?
I’m sorry if any of this sounds ignorant. I’m genuinely trying to understand myself better!
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P.S. I think part of why this is all so terrifying to me is because my parents are extremely conservative and openly hostile toward LGBT people. I genuinely think they could kick me out of the house, or worse, if I turned out to be trans. I don’t think I would be safe telling them about any of this, which makes these feelings even harder to process and I am scared :(