u/Smelly_Gaynor

One of my closest friends died and it doesn't feel like I'm grieving properly without self harming. It doesn't make sense, I feel like I didn't love her enough and I'm not doing right by her.

I'm really trying hard not to relapse - I've been told to access the therapy I want I need to stay clean from self harming. I've also seen a specialist plastics doctor who has said that my nerve damage is too bad to repair but she can do surgery to reduce sensation. So I really need to not relapse.

I know this doesn't make sense and people say to me that she wouldn't want me to but it just doesn't feel valid without and I don't feel like I can access the emotions properly. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this?