u/SnanoBear

My 26f boyfriend 30m accused me of cheating because I didn’t answer his phone calls late last night. For context, I always leave my phone on silent. For work, I am right below the CEO. I have important meetings and I’m always busy, I find the notification sounds extremely distracting. But even before this job, my phones always been on silent, ever since I got my first phone when I was 11. I just don’t like having the sound on. That being said, I don’t ordinarily miss calls or texts because I do still check my phone frequently, and when I am actually available to take a call, I just leave my phone face up on my desk so I usually see when someone is calling.

Well, last night he was busy so around probably 930pm I fell asleep, I had a headache the whole day. I woke up at 1230am to messages from him saying we are broken up. I called him a few times and he finally answered and honestly, I didn’t think he could be serious. Because of course I wasn’t doing anything. But when I tried to explain myself he just kept hanging up on me which really did upset me. He kept saying that I was “online” on Snapchat and that he saw me driving (I don’t have location on Snapchat so I’m not sure what he could even be referring to). I texted him saying in the morning there better be not a word from him but an apology.

Instead of an apology, I got these multiple paragraphs from him. He said I was ignoring his calls but he only called twice, once at 1030pm last night and once at 1145, both of which times I was sleeping. He references that I’ve reacted that way before which granted, I have, but no where in recent times which is why I’m a bit taken back from this. We used to fight a lot about stupid things like this but haven’t in many months. While I know most of you will just say “look how he’s talking to you just move on,” he never usually texts me long paragraphs like this. Which leads me to believe this is a build up of pent up resentment towards me. What can I do to get us back on track? I don’t want him to feel the ways that he’s describing.

Edit to answer a few questions:

Why did he censor himself: voice to text does that automatically

Why does his grammar suck: again, voice to text

What does my message that’s only partially visible say: “Unless the first thing out of your mouth is an apology in the morning, do not expect to ever fucking hear from me again. Besides the courtroom.” Bad reaction? Yes. But I will say I did try to calmly explain over the phone that I was just sleeping. He pissed me off when he kept hanging up on me mid sentence & stating that I was cheating. Court thing, not actually a big deal (imo), something he’s already aware of with some financial stuff. Was not included in the post because that specific issue is not pertinent. Not necessarily defending my response but people keep asking what it said or say I’m lying for the whole thing not being there (also 90% of you basically say to tell him to F off & block him yet say that my response was crazy, which one is it?!)

What was above that message I sent (the message(s) people were asking about): screenshots of his Snapchat showing active / online while I knew that he wasn’t using it (just showing him, hey, it does show that dot even if you’re not on)

Why did I say “lmao bye” in the first screenshot: that was after getting hung up on, at first I thought it was just a silly thing that could be easily explained away

2nd edit: no I’m not cheating, 95% sure he isn’t either but I guess there’s always a possibility. We have not had issues with infidelity