Struggling to not feel inadequate in my new (budding) relationship.
Gonna try and keep this as concise as possible but there will be a TLDR at the bottom.
Recently, I (31M) met a guy (32M) on instagram and I think we’ve kinda hit it off. He saw my profile on an app but I never saw his message there. My instagram is linked so he messaged me there and pretty quickly had our first date. Since then we’ve hung out multiple times a week. I work 24hr shifts but pretty much any day I’m off, I’ve stayed at his place.
We aren’t official yet. He has said that we are mutually exclusive and dating but just not in an official relationship. He promised himself that he’d be single for a year after leaving a 7yr relationship with his abusive ex. We are definitely fudging that but he wants to stick with it saying we will be official in July.
I guess the challenge I’m having is I don’t know how to make our relationship special. It’s intimidating knowing they were together for 7yrs. I only came out 5yrs ago. I’ve had a couple relationships since then but nothing that substantial. With that, there’s not really anything we can do together that he hasn’t already shared with someone else.
I know a lot of this is my own insecurities. I’m just intimidated by all of his life experiences. He’s traveled a lot more than me, he has a pretty strong friend group, and has many fun stories. I don’t really have any friends since all of mine left when I came out. I spent my high school, college, and the first half of my 20s being a pastor. So I don’t really have anything fun to talk about.
I’ve even gotten in my head about our sexual relationship. I don’t really have a reason to think he doesn’t enjoy it but I’ve gotten bits of his previous experiences and I’m not sure if I really stack up. I know it’s dumb and wanting to be the best is a losing game but I do wonder if I’m really what he wants. I’m not small but I’m definitely not massive either. Also, I’m pretty short (5’6) so I know that’s neutral at best. I don’t know if his adventurous days are behind him but, if they are, that would make our sex life pretty dull in comparison.
Anyway, I’ve clearly failed at being concise but I’m just looking for some input on it all. Is there anyway I can make our connection special? Or do I just need to appreciate that he gives me the time of day? Am I just being dumb even asking this?
TLDR: Started seeing a new a guy and worried that I may not be enough for him. He’s had a ton an experiences including a 7 year relationship and it’s intimidating. I don’t know how to make our connection special and don’t know if I’m just dumb for trying.