Character Is Revealed, Not Declared - What That Specific Night Showed Me.
He shoved me. Held my wrists so I couldn't move. Then looked me in the eyes and told me I was crazy when I called him out.
This was the same man who told me, more than once, that he never wanted to raise children in an environment of screaming and yelling.
Later that night he came into the guest room drunk, fell in the dark, sat on the floor saying you treated me like a dog — and then punched my luggage.
I couldn't lift him. He was bigger than me. So I did the only thing I could.
I grabbed my keys and slept in my car until my cousin arrived.
Epictetus said character is revealed under pressure, not declared in conversation. Anyone can tell you who they are. Very few actually show you.
I got shown.
The Stoics also talk about what is and isn't within our control. I couldn't control what he did in my home. I couldn't control the size difference or the intoxication or the audacity of a man calling me crazy after putting his hands on me.
What I controlled was the door I walked out of.
That was enough.