u/Soaring_Under

Hey everyone! I’m a long time lurker first time poster here in this subreddit. after going through a bit of a rough time the past few weeks I finally decided to reach out for some positive support.

I guess I’ll introduce myself real quick. I‘m Sorrin! I’m a 26 year old gay man from Missouri in the USA. I am a gay Christian somewhere in the limbo of A and B. Depending on the day I seem to be hardcore one way or the other. And I know you will all reply to my post saying, “Well there is your problem.” And you’re probably right. I know it makes my life harder. I know it causes me nothing but turmoi. But I’m scared.

I grew up in a Southern Baptist home. My parents are awesome people who always let me know that they love me. I’ve never had to wonder if they’d disown me if I came out. But at the same time I’ve always worried about their disappointment in me if I did. I’ve had in my time as a side B believer about 5 friends who switched from side B to side A, and I saw how much that decision affected the people around them. Family hurt, church hurt, and hurt friends. Things that honestly I don’t want to deal with. And yet at the same time I don’t want to be alone. I seem to be in this catch 22 situation where I’m lonely without life partner if is stay side B, and an outcast to the community I’ve built all these years if I’m side A. I’m lonely either way.

I have some awesome side B people who have walked along me in this journey. Very loving people who have told me where ever I land they will still love me and it won’t change anything. But one couple wouldn’t be enough to change much. I‘m concerned that I’ll lose relationships with my friends and even potentially my relatives if they find out I’m gay. I worry my sister won’t let me spend time with my baby niece as she grows up because she doesn’t want her around her gay uncle.

So here I am writing a post to a group of people who I know will love me either way. I’m thankful to anyone who reads this, and ask for guidance, encouragement, or even just a friendly acknowledgment of me and who I am.

I’ve read many books and been very convinced of both side A and side B stances, and I’m really not even considering the theology right now. I’ve done that before. I more need help with advice walking through this season of life.

Feel free to DM me if needed. I truly appreciate any help that you can offer.

I write this as a 20 something year old living in the Midwest USA. I’ve always heard that things are better in Canada, free healthcare, a more social programs for people. But is it actually better? I know there isn’t such a place as a utopia. But I was wondering from actual Canadians or people who immigrated to Canada from the US, are things better now? Do you feel like it was worth all the effort to change?