u/SoftSpoken_Storm

You manipulate and are filled with hate.

Your disguise was such a surprise,

But when I’d look into your eyes,

I’d feel the flames arise.

You taught me how to hate,

To bargain with a life they called my fate.

You wore the face of someone meant to care,

Yet left a child drowning in despair.

You spoke of love with venom on your tongue,

And stole my voice before I’d grown up young.

You made me question every tear I’d cried,

Convincing me the truth was just a lie.

You turned the world against my name,

Then called me crazy to escape your blame.

I prayed to God with shaking hands at night,

But heaven answered only with its silence out of sight.

I wondered if I’d done something so wrong,

To carry pain this heavy for this long.

The devil never needed horns.

He hid behind the title I’d admire.

You weren’t a monster in the world’s disguise,

You were the devil…

Looking through familiar eyes.

Dear future me,

Is your mind finally at ease?

Did you rise back to your feet,

or let the world accept defeat?

Did we build the life we’d always dreamed,

or is it farther than it seemed?

I’d like to think your heart stayed strong,

even when the nights felt dark and long.

I pray your mind never fell asleep

before you reached the dreams you chose to keep.

Today I feel numb,

not because I was reminded of them,

but because the sun had set again.

Some days I am alive,

and others I am simply living.

People see the surface,

but they don’t see what’s beneath.

They don’t see the weight I carry,

or the battles I keep within.

I carry so much ache,

yet I still don’t break.

Maybe healing isn’t becoming whole again.

Maybe healing is learning to live

the life the Lord gives.

If this is true,

then yes, Lord,

I am living through You.

Your words cut deep and left their wounds.

You’re speaking to a child through emotional abuse.

I cry out loud to hear a prayer

But I’m met with silence, not even a flare?

I’m losing faith in my lord,
I blame the man who holds the sword.

You will never know the hardships I faced,
Because of you, I abandoned my faith.

You deprived me of happiness,
The life I once enjoyed.

The tables turned, leaving me torn,
A soul weathered and worn.

Life was great before you switched,
Now a creak in the floorboards makes me twitch.

Covered in tears, I wondered why
Life had chosen me to survive.

The light would flicker when you were near,
And I became a burden in a life I feared.

Before I met you life was divine,
Let me tell you a tale of these little white lies.

Laughter and hatred it was all the same.

See what I mean when I say it was lame?

The host, the man, the boss of it all.
He took the light and left me to fall.

I fell so hard I hit my knee. But come to realize.. I was limping with glee.

You see what I mean when I’m limping with glee?

No, of course not,
I was running from me.

I was the monster of this tale, if u look through his eyes you’ll see me fail.

When I laugh or smile, he threw me down.

I couldn’t get up and that made him proud.

I was crazy yet dumb, possibly insane.
For I was The one, Who fell on the blame.

He laughed and smiled when heads would turn, leaving me to lie so I wasn’t hurt.

Everyone knew.
u wouldn’t know the truth.

Forgiveness is hard but being burdened by you,

Now that was a game I can’t play through.

When the day is over

the clouds disappear,

But my mind is still crowded,

just like every year.

This day feels numbing since you left,

No warning, no goodbye,

Just silence and breath.

You chose the needle, the smoke, the high

Over the fear in your children’s eyes.

“I’ll be back soon”, you swore it was true.

But addiction always came before we did to you.

I counted the nights by the sound of my breath,

Afraid of the quiet and what shall be next.

My childhood slipped through my trembling hands,

Replaced my survival and backup plans.

As time went on I gave up on you.

I just wanted to live, to prove something new.

That I survived the things that destroyed you.