Rejected by Zamindars for not having Business 💀
Hey guys,
I need to vent because I am genuinely sitting here scratching my head at the absolute state of arranged marriage criteria in this country.
For context, I am 28M, a Civil Engineer currently working as an Assistant Civil Engineer. Salary is Alhamdulillah, I am well-settled, my family owns our house in DHA, Lahore, and my dad is actually a successful businessman. We are Rajputs, and we’ve been looking for a family with a good blend of traditional ethics and modern values.
We thought we found a great match. The girl (24F) is a textile designer working for a Turkish firm, currently in Lahore for training. She’s also a Rajput, well-educated, and from a very wealthy agricultural family in Mirpurkhas, Sindh.
On paper, it felt like a home run. Vibes matched, caste matched, city matched for now, everything.
The Groundbreaking Reason for Rejection
My parents got the call today. They rejected the proposal. Want to know why?
> "Larka tou naukri karta hai, apna business nahi hai. Hamein zamindar ya businessman chahiye."
> They completely looked past my engineering degree, my career track, my family background, and the fact that we live in DHA, Lahore.
Because I choose to work as an Assistant Civil Engineer to build my own professional experience rather than sitting on my dad's business from day one, I am apparently a status downgrade.
The irony? My own father is a businessman. It’s not like my family doesn't understand business. But because I am currently employed in an engineering job, the girl's father thinks it’s "Ghulami" (servitude) and wants someone who inherits or runs an enterprise immediately.
Is an engineering job really a red flag now?
It is 2026. The economy is an absolute rollercoaster. Getting a proper engineering degree and working your way up as an Assistant Civil Engineer takes a lot of hard work, yet it's treated like a secondary option for people who "can't do anything else" by the old-school landlord mindset.
Has anyone else with an engineering career faced this specific bias from zamindar or hardcore business families? How do you even fight the mindset that a professional job equals a lack of ambition?