u/SomeGooseAttackedMe

when my daughter emerged from her father's duderus, she was already a star. she livestreamed her birth on tiktok, with an audience of 400k people sending her gifts and wishing her a happy birthday. she has 68m followers on Instagram and more brand deals than she knows what to do with. she gets so much PR, makeup, perfume, baby clothes, etc. it doesn't all fit in her nursery. she paid off our mortgage and bought us a bigger house because she wanted to "give back" to us for raising her all these weeks. she's the best 4 month old, even though she doesn't sleep through the night (she's always working!) and she does cry (but only on camera, to get more clicks/views!).

my sister in law, on the other hand, desperately wants to be an influencer but she can't seem to break into the industry. she only has like 1500 followers, and the only brand deal she's gotten was for a dog kibble company (she doesn't have a dog). my daughter has offered to collab with her and we've tried giving her some of the excess PR crap but my SIL just gets offended and storms off.

things came to a head recently during our podunk town's beautiful baby contest. my SIL has run unopposed for the last 36 years in a row... until this year. we entered our little baby and she won! but my SIL had a screaming meltdown, and according to my MIL, she has not stopped screaming/melting down since the competition 10 days ago.

is it my daughter's fault for being a better influencer and a cuter baby than my husband's 36 year old sister???

a crust of bread, some weird beans, toiletbowl absinthe brewed by my cellmate.

got swept up in a raid, spent the night in reddit jail. I have *not* been reformed. I went in as a middle class suburban housewife with a good credit score and came out gang affiliated with no eyebrows. I did manage to kiester out a bottle of absinthe, although t̵h̴e̸ ̶b̵o̸t̶t̸l̵e̵ i̴͈̯͂̂͠s̴̹͉͙̽ ̷̲͖̌̄ş̵̨͛̈́t̴̨̖̕á̶̲͘r̸̨̮͖̀t̵͚̘̪͌̏i̷͓̩͍͑̅n̷̋ͅg̷̱͍̈́̋̓ t̴̝̦̘̙͆̊̈́̄̆͘ò̸̝̻̖̹̳̜͗͒̍͋̐͗̒͌̚͠ ̵̤͈̻͒̃̄̀̈́̃̂͐̂̚͘͝ś̴̢̲͍͉̼̲̻̃̇̀̓͒̕͠͝m̴̡̧̖̙͎̪͙͇͚̫̺̒͛̉̈́̉̾̊͌̄̂̍o̶̢̰͂̃k̴̼̥̟͍͒̀̏͝e̴̡̺͍̹̓̓́̚

It is nearly impossible to tell monarch butterflies from viceroy butterflies just by looking at them. The easiest way to tell the two species apart is to observe their behavior. Monarch butterflies hold a preemptive position of power over an empire or kingdom, whereas viceroys rule as a representative of the sovereign. If the butterfly you are observing is ruling over a monarchy, you can be certain you are looking at a monarch. If the butterfly is simply acting in the stead of a monarch, that is a viceroy.

I have a degree in entomology so feel free to ask any bug/insect questions and I'll do my best to answer them!

I have NO IDEA what his problem is, he knows Taylor is the most important person in the world to me - for example my 6ft TS Fearless Tour standee was in every single one of our wedding photos because she was the guest of honor, so like, this should not be news for him idk.

ANYWAY I was listening to her latest album, The Boiled Unseasoned Chicken of a Showgirl (taylor's version) on repeat this weekend and about the 32nd time through my husband said if he had to listen to anymore Taylor he was going to break every window in our house. and then he actually followed through! look, I'll be the first to tell everyone else to break up with their horrible pathetic boyfriends and husbands but I'm at a complete loss what to do in this situation.

also if you guys could all tag Taylor in the comments asking her to send me some window money that would be great thanks I know she'll come through for me 😍

what actually happened is that my parents were having issues in their marriage, then my dad fell in love with my hot cheerleader friend which is super gross and annoying. my neighbor's son is cool and likes making movies and stuff but his dad totally sucks and somehow thought his son and my dad were together but my dad's just a creepy weirdo who likes to smoke with high school students. anyway, I think I'm gonna ask my (actual) gay neighbors if I can crash with them for a little bit because I can't take anymore of this drama

The Gordon Lightfoot sank in 1975, and in 1998 it was recovered by William A. Irvin, who had it fully restored and turned into a floating museum.

he says he's just going to "practice" so he'll be even better for me. seems a little weird but he knows more about marriage than I do because this is my first and his fourth. so yeah if you guys wanna assure me that this is normal and fine I'd be grateful! also if you have any advice on how to get his jealous loser ex wives to stop trying to warn me about his antics that would be good too!

we have a million billion quadrillion dollars in there and I'm so glad we're rich 🥹

dinner is tofu cabbage surprise!

not sure if anyone else can relate but I'd love some advice. my husband has set boundaries that I'm struggling to keep. we have combined finances (I'm a neurosurgeon, he's a videogame streamer). currently I'm bringing in the vast majority of our income (he has 3 followers and makes roughly $0.13/month) but he says he must have the final say in how our money is spent. for example I wanted to get my hair cut but he said that since we have scissors and a bowl at home that would be a waste of money. I pointed out that a haircut would cost less than what he spends on mt. dew in a week, but he reminded me that mt. dew is a business expense. the other boundary he has set is that he can't deal with his empty beer/soda cans while he's working, so he pitches them out of his office and into the hallway for me to deal with this. I am really busy and do not have time to be picking up his empties but I literally don't see any other options. has anyone else struggled with respecting a partner's boundaries? I'm looking for advice but more than that, I LOVE fighting in the comments so please give me your brutally honest opinions!

dinner is an egg I blew up in the microwave, eaten directly out of the microwave with a fork

every time I come on here looking for support the comments are full of bullies! I just want to feel better and be told that I'm right, and instead everyone is like, "you need therapy" and "lighting your boyfriend's car on fire is an overreaction" or "you might actually be the problem" I've made 17 posts and it's always the same! why are you doing this to me????