First of all: my boyfriend is the most empathetic, sensitive and amazing man on earth. I couldn’t imagine a better man by my side. Everyday, I’m thankful that this wonderful man put a baby in me. 🙏 During the first few weeks of my pregnancy, he was really helpful and supportive. He even sat down to pee and flushed the toilet when I told him to.

Unfortunately, because of his empathy, he’s been feeling worse and worse since I got pregnant. Even worse than I am (I’m bedridden, haven’t been able to eat properly for months, I’m in pain all the time, and I’m just having a really hard time). He says he is feeling the same and he’s not able to support me rn, which is okay for me. It‘s not a big deal.

But what’s really hard for me, is that he is suffering so much and I feel I’m not supporting him enough. How can I take better care of him? He says he can’t manage to do the chores, go grocery shopping, take me to doctor’s appointments, or get my pregnancy medications for me. I’ve screwed casters onto my bed and use it to roll to my appointments, but maybe there‘s an even better solution???

Please be nice… my boyfriend is truly the most helpful and wonderful person… he’s just feeling absolutely terrible (blue balls, as he says – is any of you familiar with this problem and knows if there‘s a cure?)

Schnitzel with Bratkartoffeln and cigarettes

He is a cuck and wants to be cheated on. I think he wants to “find out” like how women on this sub generally do. I am using some of the stories as inspiration but please comment below on how you got cheated on so that I can use it for my kink. TIA!

Watching big bang theory in bed with noods and pots. This is the way.

As the title implies, my girls and boytoy have recently come to me with a list of demands. Apparently they don't like being kept in the basement all day with only a couple hours of outside time. But like, that's how daycares do it! AND they get sex, unlike those bratty daycare kids. Really they should be greatful I let them live in my compound at all.

Anyway, they say they want to make minimum wadge at least if they're gonna keep acting like maids, but that's what they're concubines for so that's not happening. They also want dental and optical coverage, which I THOUGHT i was already paying for, but my accountant (54m) has been trying a lot harder to fix his marriage so maybe he's trying to screw me over again.

Then, get this, they want a few days off! Like, you already live in a paradise, you can see it from your window. AND your job is to basically just please me, like? What do you need a break from, intercourse? They don't need breaks, their job is a break. Like get some perspective.

But yeah, gotta sort the dental thing out now I guess, so I SUPPOSE they deserve an award for bring the accountants fuck up to my attention. Which is why I made my favourite snack for everyone today

***Honey Toast:***

Butter a lightly toast both side of a slice of bread in a pan (cast iron preferably) on low heat

Once they have a light toast, and I do mean *light* toast, coat the preferred side in honey then put in the oven on low broil till they reach the desired colour

Then, eat! You could add any sort of spices you desire to the honey before or after broiling for extra flavour~

Girlies, am I weird?

Whenever I get my period I get really bloodthirsty. The only thing that truly satisfies my hunger at those times is the bleeding pulsing heart of a man freshly ripped from his chest. If I try to eat anything that isn’t that feel sick, weak and constantly hungry. And the pain feels a lot worse. But whenever my assistant fetches me a fresh hot heart with some testes on the side, my voracious womanly hunger is finally sated.

I told this to a friend and they claimed I was weird for preferring men’s hearts rather than a severed peen steak. It’s is just not my taste personally, but her comment made me anxious 😥

I turned to my auntie who’s a nurse and she explained that my body is most likely craving (or needs more) iron and protein. And how other girls do experience it as well, but I just crave it more often probably because I have low iron and low protein.

Does anyone else who experiences periods go through this? Am I weird?

P.S my assistant got upset that I tore into the meat and basically shoved it down my throat since he said there’s a specific way to eat a man’s heart for enhanced flavor. I feel bad and I had to explain to him that I don’t care about the flavor, I was just hungry for that thick juicy heart. 🥲 when I get hungry girls, I tend to turn into Godzilla istg.

Quick edit: I’m asking if I’m weird because yes my friend made me insecure!

Straight ball of mozerella, and you do not get my recipe!

My wife's boyfriend is trying to convince me that the lyrics to the hit song by adam levine maroon 5 (IT IS NOT GYM CLASS HEROES STOP SAYING THAT BRANDEN) are "my heart's a stereo"

It's "my heart's oregano." Mk? And I am tired of the disrespect! It's obviously a love letter to the incredible spicescape of Italian cuisine and I would know because I'm 0.1 Italian and I made spaghetti once with no instructions!

As for my ol ball and chain wife, she only shows up when I don't take my pills! It's like she only wants me at my worst, like wtf. Branden thinks he's just sooo cool like he's the top dog, calling himself the "psych ward supervisor". He thinks he's a fucking wizard. I'm filing for divorce tomorrow from both of them!

matching snack and vape combo, feeling my blood sucking instincts kicking in from the red 😋

mosquito was nasty. maybe better deep fried?

for safety reasons i can’t reveal my age, but my coworker who’s married i’m like sooo physically attracted to. i wanted to let him know but he declined me but then on call we were exchanging some sexual convos. he sent me a song called “hey nineteen” and i feel like lana del rey dating an older man. i want him and idc that he’s married.

context: someone posted something similar to this that got quickly deleted within 10 min that wasn’t satired. (i wonder why…)

I started my turbo hardcore vegetarianism three days ago. Not for the love of animals of course, but to flex on the broke morally bankrupt losers that aren't as good as me. But every time I try to eat something, my cat does a stellar impression and I can't anymore! I tried to eat cauliflower, but alas, there's a resemblance! Rice? No go! Tofu... don't even think about it! I can't even drink light blue Gatorade because that's her eye color! Why must she look like a lightly toasted marshmallow or slice of wonder bread? She's trying to sabotage me so I don't switch her to vegetarian cat food, augh, I can't believe I raised such a little normie! What can I do to stop her evil flans? Or plans, she looks like flan too 😔

I ask him multiple times a day, every day to eat my butt and he refuses every single time. I'm so upset. Its been months and he hasn't eaten it from the back like groceries. I even tell him YES I showered last week and NO I don't think I have clingers but he still refuses. I stole his card and went on a little shopping spree today but I'm still thinking of cheating on him by screwing his brother.

My boyfriend loves camping so I planned a special trip over the long weekend. We had the car packed and were ready to head out when I remembered I should use the restroom before the long drive. I came back out of the bathroom and the car was gone. I think he just didn't realize I wasn't there.

It's been 12 hours and he hasn't texted or called yet. He's a perfect boyfriend but just not detail oriented, so no wonder he hasn't noticed I'm missing. I'm sure this kind of thing happens to all of us, right?

I grew up believing I was Enchanted, the kind of girl everyone thought lived The Best Day, wrapped in luxury and convinced I’d found a Love Story. But on my wedding day, behind the white dress and perfect smile, I felt like You’re On Your Own, Kid. My fiancé looked at me with a Blank Space in his eyes while I whispered You Belong With Me to a future that no longer seemed real. It wasn’t my Wildest Dreams or Lover anymore; it was Bad Blood, Back to December, and We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together with the life I thought I wanted. As the guests danced to Shake It Off, I fought back the Teardrops on My Guitar, wondering if I would ever find Style, Delicate happiness, or simply survive this Cruel Summer that had arrived on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

Hey girlies. So I am pregnant, and, unlike all the other loser posts about wanting to show, “wanting to know their baby is healthy and growing” (lol tell me you’re ugly without telling me you’re ugly) I do not want to show. I want it to look like I am CHUGGING Ozempic okay. I have literally never been so smol with a flat stomach and rock hard abs as I am at 12.5 weeks pregnant and cha girl is tryna keep these abs (here’s hoping they’re strong enough to keep that baby in a lil straight jacket in there!!!) If this kid changes my body I will be fucking pissed. But at least I have their whole life to get back at them lol!

Any other new mamas who are not like the other girls???

Dinner was homemade curry ramen ✨

Who's your favorite founding father? Mines Ben Franklin.

My husband and I haven’t been intimate in years. I’ve attempted plenty of times but he always declines. Stating that he’s too busy with work and feels stressed with the workload. Disappointing but I understood. I give him a lot of compassion for this. I’ve been stressed at work too. For me, sex is my main way of relieving this. So I don’t quite understand how he chills? But it’s fine for me because I’ve sleeping with his brother for months now so this isn’t an issue for me 😊
Anyways I’ve noticed this strange behavior between him and my father. I always thought it was a weird brotherly bond. They’ve always been quite intimate going on trips together, smiling hard, hugging each other while rubbing. I thought it was a cultural difference because I’m from Mississippi and they’re from Texas, I don’t know I just thought maybe that’s just what they do there.
Anyways, today at the Fourth of July party, I kept noticing my father exchange glances with my husband. And it was very flirtatious. I peed at the corner of my eye, and I saw my husband nod towards the bathroom. They both proceeded there. I waited a few moments and I caught them making out in the bathroom. I confronted them and they told me that it wasn’t what it seemed. That they’ve been doing this for years to bond
Maybe they’re right? Maybe it isn’t what it seems? I don’t really understand Men… so maybe this is just what they do to bond together?

Dinner: cat food
Dessert: glue in a paperbag

Why wont you play nightcrawlers with me anymore!

I KNOW IT'S NATURAL. Everyone does it! No shame! I'm not even terribly shy.

I just, I cant bear to pretend or even ACT like I don't poop. Ive lived with him 10 months on this farm. He's seen it. He's heard it. He knows.

I poop at all hours. Morning, noon, total darkness at 1am. I strategize so that he sees it, hears it, smells it. Even if he's in the middle of a tense gaming session, I make sure he knows.

The actual worst part is stupid, bad toilets. IT CLOGS FROM TOILET PAPER ALONE. The plunger does not work properly. I HAVE TO ASK FOR HELP!

Terror when watching water fill to the rim of the bowl AND STAY THERE IS TERRIFYING!!!

Girlies I've gone through terrible lengths because there is simply too much evidence of clogging.

Sorrows drowned in wine.