Image 1 β€” It's famine and rations times here at my village.
Image 2 β€” It's famine and rations times here at my village.

It's famine and rations times here at my village.

The wheat harvest was destroyed several times by some sort of blight! The local clergy are all aflutter about the "omens" and turn their faces inward whilst the populace prays and begs at the altar and gives over their pay to the offering boxes.

EntrΓ© moi, a realistic and modern woman.

I believe in pants for men *and* women, ipso facto I am currently wearing a split skirt frock for riding astride! I am literate in the sciences and mathematics, I have a beautiful herb garden out behind my hut, I did not marry a man and am now a spinster at 22.

I get by selling my teas and tisanes to the locals when the common physician's leech therapy and mercury treatments prove ineffective.

Sigh... Which makes me feel foolish to admit this. I was doing well at the beginning of the wheat famine, using my math powers to experiment with how much flour-to-sawdust ratio one's person can safely consume.

I stocked up and rationed economically. However, I regret to inform, I have run out of my store of safe flour.

Seen here were the only johnny cakes I could manage. This should be good for breakfast and tea but what shall I do for supper? I clutch my kerchief to my brow as I write, the faint sheen of moisture on my forehead might give away my distress.

I will have to purchase the millers flour now and I just KNOW they use plaster dust to cut their milled grains.

Oh, I do hope this famine will pass. I do not fancy plaster dumplings or delicate plaster tarts, much less a plaster johnny cake.

Any suggestions or recipes I can use to help make this not feel like I am eating the walls of my home appreciated!

u/teslaeffects β€” 23 hours ago

[thank you] Wild and wonderful West Virginia meetup!

Thank you, darlins! Im so happy these meetups exist, y'all are too cool βœ¨πŸ’•

Tags in comments

u/melhen16

u/Blu_Sky_Grandma

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u/teslaeffects β€” 2 days ago
β–² 3 r/AskSeattle

What's up with the line of emergency vehicles northbound Aurora Ave doing long, slow siren wails?

It's been happening for a few minutes. All northbound past the cemetery but sounds like they started earlier

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u/teslaeffects β€” 7 days ago

Y'all ever do chores in the nude?

I'm home alone. I don't want to get my favorite pajamas dirty. I have chores to do.

Soooo....

Pants off tids out chore time!

Throw in a little happy hardcore soundtrack and start clapping and flapping along.

A great mental health reset, sweaties βœ¨πŸ’œπŸ‘

Pictured is the paint sample I was enjoying earlier

u/teslaeffects β€” 24 days ago

The overnight garden cryptid checking in: coworkers will be spared another year. They have left tribute jawn and fancy beverages

They made this "pizza" for me in a propane portable pizza oven. I was duly impressed.

Fire and a feast? Yes, pour those libations, pay tribute for another safe year thanks to the mysterious force that I, the garden cryptid, provide!

Now back to drawing sigils with the forklift to re-seal this reality bubble.

u/teslaeffects β€” 27 days ago

Behold the "night" toast!

I work Graveyard shift, it's the middle of the night for me.

I present NEUROSPICY 3 TOAST FLIGHT (like the ADHD 3 drink rule but for toast)

#1 this peanut butter banana toast!

#2 Some savory whatever the fuck you call these things!

And....

#3 SWEET strawberry rhubarb and fig butter!

Sorry, I ran out of batteries and glitter as toppings, but I do have a Parmesan shaker full of googly eyes as garnish.

Only those in Feral Rat Bitches cabin can have some, though . KTHXBAAAAAAIIIIIIIπŸ€πŸŒˆπŸ’œπŸž

ETA: even more appropriate Reddit messed up the order of photos so it's a fun guessing game kind of

u/teslaeffects β€” 1 month ago

[thank you] "I'll never find anyone to send this to" RAOC Meta exchange

u/melhen16 Thank you for the adorable "age is mind over matter" card! And stickers :)

I'm getting ready to get back into this sub, I have acquired quite a bit πŸ’œβœ¨

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u/teslaeffects β€” 1 month ago
β–² 65 r/occlupanids

Finally putting on the glow coat.

Next step is clear coat so the paint doesn't flake!

Made by me from recycled corrugated plastic signs, painted with acrylic green and glow in the dark spray paint.

u/teslaeffects β€” 1 month ago

Summoning a friend or two for GDCJ Summer Camp tomorrow. I'll save you a seat on the bus !

🦐 🐌 🌈

Shrimps and snails and algae

Go in the soup

Summon me a bestie

Who will help raid the rival friend group!

We'll pierce each other's ears

It will remain slightly crooked for years!

Please, universe, I need a bestie

To be better than the resties!

βœ¨πŸ€πŸ’œ

What would you put in a summoning circle for a special summer camp bestie?

Menthol cigarettes stolen from uncle Jo?

Vape pen that's slightly clogged?

Hot chip?

Old tarot deck?

Sheet music to High School: The Musical?

u/teslaeffects β€” 1 month ago

Stummy-ache maxxing in an attempt to reenact that scene from 'The Witches of Eastwick' on the remainder of mine enemies

Might fuck around and try bigger pitted fruit, too. ✨ I could reeeally go for a peach right about now πŸ‘… πŸ‘

u/teslaeffects β€” 1 month ago

Chalcedony or opalized petrified wood? Eastern Washington near Spokane.

There were bowling ball sized chunks, as well, but I didn't have a vehicle at the time. All over the private property we were visiting in Cheney, WA, USA.

Waxy, glassy, definitely has some chalcedony but is it all? Brittle. Very little UV reaction seen in picture 4 + 5

u/teslaeffects β€” 1 month ago

I can't believe my trad wife is finally fed up with my jokes!? I thought it was her job to indulge my ego whilst I played the victim. As a corrective measure, I have purchased this book for her to read and learn from (because I sure as heck can't comprehend words on a page and there was no audiobook

So the kids are at their grandparents house and I'm eating raw sink meat for dinner because she is "protesting" my "controlling" behavior. Why can't anyone take a joke anymore, geez...

u/teslaeffects β€” 1 month ago
β–² 30 r/EnamelPins

Gosh, I sure do love locking pin backs! Until it's time to remove them...

Pin from Strike Gently πŸ’œ

Yes, the eye does freely rotate!

Any tips to not kill my poor fingers and nails when removing locking pin backs? Or is this the price we pay for security? 🫠

u/teslaeffects β€” 2 months ago

I finally tried to do some naked painting today. The skill involved made me feel so artistic and accomplished. The final product is gorgeous

The neighbors definitely didn't appreciate it and I may have become a bit sunburnt in places that don't get exposed too often.

Stroganoff because I know I inspired at least one strokin-off

u/teslaeffects β€” 2 months ago
β–² 0 r/HomeDepot

SOP clarification help

Hello, overnight recovery/freight associate for 8 years married to a receiving specialist (edited, I wrote recovery instead of receiving lol) who works at another HD location.

I am looking to transfer to my spouse's store and have not been able to get a straight answer if that will be okay.

The original confusion:

He was disallowed from working at my current store due to our relationship before the hiring manager had an "oooooh, oops" moment. Spouse *was* eligible for hire, they read the rules wrong and admitted to it too late.

Now:

From what I understand, he is technically a key carrier (receiving specialist is not a DS but has the key training). I would work opposite shift, under the NOps and NRM, not directly or indirectly supervised by him in any way. We wouldn't even be in the building at the same times.

Will my transfer to that store be okay?

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u/teslaeffects β€” 2 months ago

Took half the night off because I guess I trained my replacement and they are too good at their job. 4am dinner queso rice, greasy day old chips, and half a giant snickerdoodle cookie.

Eating my feels... But how am I supposed to compete with the efficiency and "newbie" attitude? Not to mention how abso-stinkin-lutely adorable they are.

I'm just an awkward, anti-social, garden center cryptid trying to make it in this world. I've got nothing on ✨*them*✨

ETA: 2nd photo is the new kid

u/teslaeffects β€” 2 months ago
β–² 12 r/CLOUDS

Totally unremarkable, unprofessional, taken with my Pixel phone, cloud photo dump.

Most from the lot I work in overnight. A lot of sunsets, a few sunrises, 99% Seattle, WA adjacent, a few from an Oregon coast trip

​

☁️ πŸ’™πŸ’œ πŸ’•πŸ§‘

u/teslaeffects β€” 2 months ago

So tired of m*le-centric posts from these lovely ladies who deserve soooo much better.

I've decided to *aggressively* and specifically eat only phallic-shaped objects in an attempt to achieve rage catharsis.

​

Not pictured: the large kitchen shears I'm about to violently cut these into pieces with whilst manifesting the ego death of all who identify with and consent to this shitty, toxic patriarchy environment

​

So mote it be, bitches βœ¨βœ‚οΈπŸ†βœ¨

u/teslaeffects β€” 2 months ago