Remission???
Hi everyone! I want to say this has been an incredible place for me the past year and a half. Nobody could understand the pain that I was in, the isolation, the depression. To be here, and to know that other people knew what I was going through was amazing. Thank you.
I was hospitalized and went to the ER many a time due to my gastroparesis. It started slowly but snowballed into a debilitating monster that took my life away. I was accepting my new life slowly, stepping back from work, not being able to eat more than baby food and pudding, constant pain and bloating. I was on reglan, and while I didn’t experience the tardive dyskinesia, it plunged me into a deeeeep and terrible depression. Between the illness and the medication, I didn’t want to try living anymore.
In a last ditch effort my doctor recommended a dilation (botox without the botox). I got it and improved slightly. Still on medication, still mostly soft foods, but I could also eat bread again or poptarts. My motility doc said I was a candidate for the GPOEM procedure. I was nervous and scared. The prep was terrible not being able to eat a single solid food! I stopped taking the reglan before the procedure and finally didn’t want to kms as much.
I got the procedure. The doctor warned me pre-op that the success rate was low, around 60%. They told me to curb my expectations. I was worried. I was also hopeful that this would at least keep me out of the hospital and help me gain back weight. Procedure went great, recovery went even better.
I did my two weeks of liquids and soft foods. I had a waffle two weeks after my procedure. I didn’t bloat, I didn’t get nauseas. I thought that surely it was a fluke! But I kept eating and I kept being okay. It’s been a little over two months now and I’ve gone out for pizza four times now. I had an apricot croissant. I had real bacon. I ate at a restaurant without having a panic attack.
I have also sobbed on my bathroom floor, not believing this was real. I’ve sobbed from gratitude, from disbelief, and from guilt. This is a terrible, horrible condition. It could come back for me, I might not always be in remission. I’m beyond thankful, though, for how I feel right now. I know this isn’t everyone’s story and I’m beyond privileged that it has become mine. I am so proud of each and every one of you, we are so strong. As cliche as the term might sound, we are warriors.
TLDR; thank you all. Please keep going, it might get better for you. Keep trying, and enjoy every good day you have.