u/Sorry_Number6521

Throwaway. We’ve been together for 4 years now and have had our fair share of ups and downs. Recently there’s been infidelity on both sides which lead to a short breakup. The fights leading up to the breakup were brutal and they threatened to kill themselves multiple times. Since then we’ve decided to stay together but things aren’t the same at all. I don’t expect them to be the same right away but I really thought we were going to put in the effort and it really feels like I’m the only one wanting things to work. Whenever I ask about it they say they don’t see themselves living much longer. It’s something they’ve said before throughout our relationship but we never dug too much into it. They suffer from severe depression, OCD, and anxiety. During our breakup I had accepted that it was for the best and that we had both damaged each other enough so it was time to let go but I couldn’t shake the feeling of them wanting to take their life and have it be my fault. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I didn’t do everything I could for them. They often repeated that I would not be the reason and that they’ve felt like this for a while but I know I broke them, their trust, and their whole sense of reality. They’re very isolated and don’t really have anyone else outside of me which only makes their situation worse having no one else to talk to. They don’t want any treatment or medication but I’m still trying to advocate for it strongly. I’m trying to make the most out of every day with them even when they don’t want to. I know we’re still together and they’ve said they won’t be harming themselves but still make comments about not wanting to live or not thinking they’ll be here much longer. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want the best for them no matter if we stay together or not but I’m scared that if we don’t, they’ll kill themselves and i’ll forever be the reason for it or that we’ll stay together out of fear and won’t ever be fully happy again.