He turns my accountability into guilt
After 17 years and couples counseling I know my partner is a narcissist.
Every time he goes into a rage and devalues me and we get to the point of me saying I think we are better off apart he points out my weaknesses that I have in the relationship like I’m not a great communicator (which I believe has gotten worse because I’m afraid to talk about me feelings) and how I’m more passive (which I am) and uses those things and my accountability to tell me I’m the one giving up on the relationship and I must not care about him or the relationship. It guilts me into apologizing and saying I will try to be better at my weaknesses. I even say well maybe I’m just not capable of it and he says that’s not it and if I loved him I could do it.
This guilt trip always makes me stay because I think if I could just do better this would all be better. And I try and try and it’s always ends up back to square one in a cycle
At this point I truly don’t know what else to do but the thought of me being the issue and striving to try always keeps me in. Has anyone else struggles with this and how did you get past it?