u/Southern_Pomelo_4055

That's why I think my best years so far were around late school and college (13-21 years old). I think that was the only times when I was (or when I felt I was) on the same page as everyone. It was really rough fitting in before 12 years old, and it began rough again after college because no one gave me a road map of how to live the so called "adult" life", and even though I have a lot of knowledge and hundreds of special interests, I just don't see my place in the world yet and I think that most work that is offered today is garbage/boring/unattached to university degrees (at least in my country, but honestly everywhere in the world seems to be the same problems but with some national specifics).

Also didn't help that our Eastern Europe/Post Soviet education system sucks ass in preparing people for future life, yet they will teach some advanced chemistry and physics which only 0.01% of people will actually need. My university didn't even give any ideas on where we could apply our recieved knowledge even though its one of the best learning programs in my country

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I'm 24 and I've suspected I have ASD for a long time now, and I've lately been unofficially diagnosed (and since last year also been suspecting ADHD after doing research), and it got me wondering – is it an autistic thing to do? Maybe it's a kind of stim???

Working out/doing sports is legit one of the only things that keeps me afloat during harder times, I'm really dependant on that, sometimes I'm thinking that I legit just couldn't live happily without it, while many others can feel good enough without it. Whenever I stop working out for a few days, i instantly feel weaker, have less energy and will power to do anything, my libido gets worse etc etc. Couple that with constant chaos in my brain which never stops thinking even when its absolutely exhausted, and lots of OCD intrusive thoughts which both autism and ADHD constantly create, like how do you keep energy and good testosterone levels with all of this???

Are there any other tips for raising testosterone outside of working out/being physically active/walking you guys can advise???

Sometimes I just feel so jealous of men who can lie on the couch doing nothing and be in bad shape yet still somehow feel good, confident and energetic! Like fr, how tf do they do that???

So even though I'm very introverted and prefer to spend most time alone, I feel like I'm a much more genuine person who is much more empathetic and caring for others, and who feels friendships more deeply

My case is a bit more specific, because I lived 8 out my 16 first years of my life in the US despite being from Eastern Europe, and I had 3 different homes in both locations, but even in my main two apartments in my hometown I have always felt like an alien. I do indeed feel much more safe when i come back home from somewhere, but I still have no sense of belonging somewhere.

Sometimes for example i was coming back from university, walking 15 minutes from the metro station across many apartment buildings, all looking similar to mine, and then when reaching mine I was often thinking that if I didn't have to come back to my apartment right now that I could just keep walking past it for hours exploring different city blocks and not feeling any difference in terms of belonging to an area, feeling like "why am I going to this specific house out of thousands which look pretty much the same", so when I reach my house even though I feel safety and joy when coming back, I still feel that endlessness around it, I just feel like I don't feel the "borders" and a sense of "final spot" that most other (NT) people probably supposedly feel.

And same thing goes for people - I feel like I don't have a full connection to others, even to my relatives, so when I meet with some relatives I'm sometimes thinking like "who are even those people and what's my relation with them". I don't even have feel full connection to my mom who I've been together with my whole life and who I talked with a lot my whole life and always had nice relationship with.

(I've only recently been unofficially diagnosed with ASD for the first time at 24 years old, but I definitely see ADHD in me as well as I am a constant explorer with no limits who can walk the whole day)

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I am 24 and finally recently one doctor noticed ASD in me, but i suspect I have AuDHD because i have a lot of opposite symptoms, I have a constant chaos in my head with opposing needs and having to constantly debate myself, my brain just never stops thinking with constantly switching topics in my head, and constantly retracting from original line I want to think over.

After doing research I honestly can't imagine someone with AuDHD to live their whole life without some form of OCD, AuDHD brain is just wired in such a way that you just cannot stop ruminating – you will be thinking about same things FOR YEARS, and ADHD gives you endless trains of thoughts and questions, and instantly brings up other problems in your head, and ASD part wants to solve all of it right away so that these problems don't become more long-term, so even if you're absolutely fkn exhausted you just can't stop your brain, so you often have to stay up until 6 am to sort stuff out even if really tired, because if I go to sleep early but with an absolute chaos in my head, the next day is going to be absolute hell on earth because as you wake up you are INSTANTLY bombarded with a labyrinth of negative thoughts and it is eventually gonna be even more exhausting than staying up until the morning with 4-5 hours of sleep after it!!!

And the absolute hell on earth is when you already had some negative thought which made you feel worse and you would want to think it over right away so that it doesn't pop up later and/or become more long-term, but because of constantly switching topics you instantly forgot that thought, and now you know that something already made it worse but you can't remember it, so I just get stuck. This is why I'm thinking of constantly having a notebook/a phone near me so that if a lot of stuff starts showing up i can write at least some of it down instantly.

And to make the matters even more confusing, with OCD you are supposed to not listen to your brain and its intrusive thoughts, while with ASD and ADHD you actually should adapt to your brain to not lead to burnouts, and sometimes its insanely hard to differentiate all of this. Sometimes I'm legit thinking I'm going crazy despite being a very adequate and a quite intelligent person with a lot of skill and potential!!!