Neuro4Neuro; I’m the ADHD half and I have issues with impatience
I (23TM) have a partner (27NB) of almost four years and we are both neurodivergent. I have combined ADHD and I struggle with patience which is especially important in my relationship. My partner is AUDHD and also have memory problems, auditory processing issues, and are quite slow in their thought process due to heavy disassociation. I’m very fast paced, raring to go, and talk at a mile a minute. I never stop thinking ever, I have 10 billion thoughts going at once.
Now for the issue. When they ask me to repeat myself multiple times, don’t understand what I’m talking about, or interrupt me I get really frustrated. When they tell me they can’t hear me I get huffy. It takes the wind out of me sometimes and I might feel not seen.
But then I feel guilty about getting frustrated at all. I’m a very expressive person too, it’s hard for me to mask my frustration. I sigh, look cross, or take on a less enthused voice rather impulsively. My partner says it doesn’t really bother them but I feel like it should. They’re disabled after all, it’s not their fault and it’s not like it’s on purpose. I know this logically and yet I still struggle to get rid of the frustration in the moment.
What do I do? I can’t help but feel like I’m hurting them. I feel awful about it.