u/Specialist-Living-65

Have any of you tried EMDR for betrayal trauma and rewiring the mind for healthy love and sex?

I am curious to hear personal stories and experiences with this. I have been dipping my toes in via an app but am considering possibly doing it with a therapist if it will be effective.

I realize that betrayal trauma has caused my mind to become rather masochistic when I am turned on. I am not in a relationship now, but when I allow my mind to fantasize, the thoughts go from beautiful to broken often - and I have no doubt it is because of the horrendous experiences I have had with betrayal and partner’s porn usage/sex addictions.

And I see them despite it all, even when they don’t want me to. Just let people in. Authenticity trumps pretending every day, all day. Peace.

Anyone ever notice how PAs go seemingly braindead when they encounter an attractive person? Especially if the person falls into a category that they lust over?

I am just venting because I really long for more female friends in my life. My male friends tend to be quite lustful and it is really just blagh having to watch them short circuit when we encounter someone they find attractive. It’s soooo old and is just so cliche.

They literally need minutes to recompose their brains after and snap out of it. In one sense, I have to just laugh. But in another sense, it is just like aww man get me outta here. If I wanted to hang with a neanderthal, I would go find a cave.

They don’t even realize how it makes me unable to really take them seriously or feel like I want any closeness with them at all. A loooong arms length for those who have trained themselves to not be able to function properly around a human because they look a certain way.

Sigh. Just reaaally longing for deep souls who have grounded responses to other people and good self control.