MIL Vacation Aggravation
This is mainly a vent, but I would like some advice. My husband and I planned a trip to Florida with our 4 and 5 year old daughters for some fun family time before their brother is born (I'm 8 months pregnant). We invited my MIL to come along. I don't typically mind her much; she's a little whiney and expects my husband to be doing way more for her since his dad passed, but he's got his own family and career that keeps him busy. She loves my kids and my oldest daughter especially is bonded with her, so I typically let them have weekly sleepovers. We still see her minimum once every couple weeks, and try to see her weekly. Anytime she asks to come over, we tell her to come if we're home. I never try to keep her away.
When we initially asked her to come, we told her we could all ride together and spend the vacation all together. She said she would come, and my kids were excited about it. So we booked the biggest (most expensive) room at the resort so she would have plenty of space. She mentioned getting a rental car via text to my husband so we'd have more space and asked him to call her. He did reply immediately because it was the middle of his work day and he was in meetings. She then text us and said "well since you didn't answer, I guess I'm not coming". He called her after work and she said "I didn't mean to sound hateful, I had just decided I'm too old to go on a long vacation like that. It would be too much for me." I think it was because the first day we were seeing my dad, step-mom, and step-brother, and she doesn't want to have to spend time with my family. She feels awkward around people, and I honestly understand that.
So, even though we booked our room based around her, there were no hard feelings. We planned our trip expecting it to be just us (it's only a 4 day trip). Day one was Jacksonville, as my step-brother lives there. We were all meeting him for his birthday dinner at a hot pot restaurant, and then having an evening beach walk. We stayed at a different hotel for one night, got up and let the girls play at the beach, and then headed to Orlando. Then day two was going to be a full day of resort time, then day 3 was a theme park, and day 4 was a morning resort swim and head home.
The night before we leave for our trip, MIL tells us she's decided to fly into Orlando the night we arrive, and stay with my husband's aunt and uncle and that she hoped we'd still come spend time with her. We told her on our day we planned to have a resort day, we could all meet up for dinner, as we would like to spend time with them while we're down here. She started acting so offended, like we should have wanted to go sit at family's house for a full day on our vacation. She asked if my dad was still with us and acted like we intentionally are avoiding her because of that. We only met my dad for dinner on the first night and then drove 4.5 hours (should have been a 2 hour drive, but traffic) to get to our resort. His aunt and uncle are in their late 80s. I told her it really wasn't fair for my kids to have a huge resort with multiple pools, and make them leave on the only day we have to spend here to sit at his aunt's house. We tried to get them to come to the resort and spend the day, but they didn't want to. We finally settled on meeting somewhere for dinner, but she's obviously upset, and acting like we're awful for not changing our plans for his family. She's acting like his aunt is mad too, and she is honestly unbearable to me. She's a racist bigot and I really don't like being around her, so I couldn't care less about how she feels.
Should we have adjusted more since we initially invited her? My pregnancy hormones are raging, I'm usually pretty chill about things, but I feel like hubs family is being really selfish.