Heartbroken and a bit lost
So you might remember my post a few months ago, I started dating my ex colleague (50s, M) and I am F, 30s. It's been about 6 months.
Although we got on really well he never really expressed himself even when I brought up my future goals and aspirations he kind of remained silent. He did tell me he loved me 3-4 months in, I said I was reading the same book but I was a few pages behind (I wasn't ready to tell him). I didn't want to throw that phrase around just yet, so I always tried to show him in non verbal ways.
One real concern of mine was making sure our paths were headed in the same direction. I have asked him to meet my family in northern Europe, I got a very noncommittal response. I dropped hints about booking a weekend away somewhere else in Europe, again no response. Basically I want someone to adventure with, build a life with (I don't want kids, I don't have any and he has a daughter a few years younger than me).
Asked him for a chat today because things have been really bothering me. He's happy to see me at the weekends and we go hiking with our dogs. I told him it was important to me to ensure we have the same sort of direction in mind and I asked him specifically what his expectations were of me. He said he didn't have any, also told me he didn't have any goals anymore, just wanted to get through each week.
To me, that sounded like he wasn't really prioritising me or our relationship. Sounded like he was happy to tick things along with no communication.
Now, the strange part is previously he's told me he's in love with me, he has frequently told me I'm the most amazing woman he's ever met and he didn't expect to feel about me the way he does, he said he didn't even feel about his ex wife like he does for me (20 years ago).
I said towards the end of this chat "I don't think you actually want to be with me enough". I wasn't angry, just sad and crying. He didn't say anything. I waited a few minutes for him to say anything, something...then I left.
No offer to compromise. I just feel like I've been kept around as a companion with no real deep meaning. We did text a few hours after, I told him I wasn't a hobby or past time for him to string along. He said he knew he wasn't good enough for me, but what I said was unfair...
Tl;Dr boyfriend claims to love me but hasn't/won't discuss the future. Did I do the right thing by walking away, even if it hurts deeply?