r/OlderMan

I didn’t expect to find myself single at 50. Prior to getting divorced and since I’ve been approached by younger women expressing interest in a relationship with me. While I enjoy dating women in their early 30s I struggle with what the future would look like as we age. I guess I’m trying to live for more than the right now.

Many of the younger people I have dated are on the beginning stages of raising kids, or no kids at all, while I’m nearing the end with my youngest starting high school.

Thoughts on this ? Interested in others opinions.

I see the same older man at my gym every day at the same time i go and we always make eye contact and stare. at the end of his workout one night he came up to me and asked if everything was okay because he noticed i was staring at him and he asked if i wanted to talk more and offered exchanging numbers, i was surprised and unsure what to say so i said ill just see him around the gym . i go the next day and see him again. we say hi when we say each other and continued our workout , in the middle of my workout he came up to me again and said he was sorry and didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable i said it was all good i was fine and that we could be friends , he was also super shy. he said he was sorry and he wasn’t being a creep he just said he didn’t know how to turn it off whatever that meant. he offered talking more again and he wanted to give me his number again. i said sure this time but im not sure what to do. it’s been 2 days since he’s given it to me. i haven’t been back to the gym but im planning to go back on monday like usual. pls help what should i do is it wrong if i text him??? he’s super attractive but the age difference is big

So you might remember my post a few months ago, I started dating my ex colleague (50s, M) and I am F, 30s. It's been about 6 months.

Although we got on really well he never really expressed himself even when I brought up my future goals and aspirations he kind of remained silent. He did tell me he loved me 3-4 months in, I said I was reading the same book but I was a few pages behind (I wasn't ready to tell him). I didn't want to throw that phrase around just yet, so I always tried to show him in non verbal ways.

One real concern of mine was making sure our paths were headed in the same direction. I have asked him to meet my family in northern Europe, I got a very noncommittal response. I dropped hints about booking a weekend away somewhere else in Europe, again no response. Basically I want someone to adventure with, build a life with (I don't want kids, I don't have any and he has a daughter a few years younger than me).

Asked him for a chat today because things have been really bothering me. He's happy to see me at the weekends and we go hiking with our dogs. I told him it was important to me to ensure we have the same sort of direction in mind and I asked him specifically what his expectations were of me. He said he didn't have any, also told me he didn't have any goals anymore, just wanted to get through each week.

To me, that sounded like he wasn't really prioritising me or our relationship. Sounded like he was happy to tick things along with no communication.

Now, the strange part is previously he's told me he's in love with me, he has frequently told me I'm the most amazing woman he's ever met and he didn't expect to feel about me the way he does, he said he didn't even feel about his ex wife like he does for me (20 years ago).

I said towards the end of this chat "I don't think you actually want to be with me enough". I wasn't angry, just sad and crying. He didn't say anything. I waited a few minutes for him to say anything, something...then I left.

No offer to compromise. I just feel like I've been kept around as a companion with no real deep meaning. We did text a few hours after, I told him I wasn't a hobby or past time for him to string along. He said he knew he wasn't good enough for me, but what I said was unfair...

Tl;Dr boyfriend claims to love me but hasn't/won't discuss the future. Did I do the right thing by walking away, even if it hurts deeply?

Those of you who are 29+ would you ever be with someone who is 19-23?

I’m seeing this guy and we’re exclusive 19F/30M however he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend even though we’re practically dating. It’s a situation of knowing but there isn’t a label so I can’t really explain to others what we are when they ask and I don’t know if he’s taking us seriously as he says.

Know each other for 5 years. Recently seeing each other for 2 years while he’s in the middle of divorce.

I never called him my bf or my partner or my lover, so is he.

I have him to my family’s dinner several times and so is he but we never have an announcement about what we are doing because I don’t want to be loud about anything between us.

Here’s, he’s my first sexual partner. We went out for traveling, camping, road trips etc besides that I also available for him when he was in an emergency situation such as when he crashed, when he need a place to stay because his house was flooded. He also cared for me when I need him emergency. We got each other’s back as a friend(?) and we also have sex, exploring kinks and try new things because I want to learn about my body and his body. From what I have asked him, he didn’t see anyone.

But neither of us give our relationship a name or does it necessarily to name our relationship as bf/gf?

I personally not a big fans of announcements about my personal relationship, he also doesn’t a big fans of being loud about us. I want quiet and peaceful in private.

But my friends started to question of what are we, why he devoted himself in me, why I spend so much time with him. But I’m blank on that.

Recently, I’ve realized that I’m attracted to older men. For a while, I felt really guilty about it because people around me made it seem wrong or weird, which honestly made me nervous to even try talking to older men in the first place.

I have tried starting conversations, but I’ve had experiences where I either get ignored or ghosted, which makes me overthink everything lol.

I wanted to ask women who have dated or are dating older men: how did you get over the fear or nervousness and just go for it?

And for men, what do you usually look for when considering dating someone younger? I know a relationship is still a relationship at the end of the day, but with an age gap, I assume there can be different mindsets, life stages, and expectations involved.

I’m probably overthinking this, but I’d really appreciate any advice or perspective.

I've (24F) been seeing an older man (60M) for 2 months now. I have had a crush on this man for a long time and we knew each other as friends since I was 22. I initiated the relationship and it seems to be working well for both of us, I'm just feeling a bit stuck because all we can really do is hangout at his house or run into each other at the bar. I've been happy to keep it private but at the same time, it is nice to be able to go out in public without fearing judgement. Small town, people talk and I am an anxious person.

Wondering if anyone else who has been in a similar situation has any input?

Being an older man, how do we determine if a younger woman is into you for you and not (A) daddy issues (B) gold digging? Sometimes a connection transcends age. I understand and accept that. However I sometimes wonder.

It finally happened!! I’ve(34F) had a work crush(56M) for over 2 years now and worked at building a friendship and extreme trust with him over this time, not wanting to jeopardize our working friendship or be too pushy and annoying but knowing we have chemistry. Friday we finally went for drinks just the two of us. We met at 6:15 and drank, laughed and chatted until 9:45! It was the absolute best and exactly what I needed. Today is back to business as usual but it’s super fun having a secret with him as I told him the drinks were just between us two, no one was aware I was meeting him.. he agreed. I’m not pushing for anything more right now as I have wanting this so bad for so long, I’ll be riding this high all week for sure! Just had to share somewhere.

I'm 25 f now and basically I have a whole lot of trauma but at the end of the day the only thing that gives me any form of comfort is literally lying in the arms of an older man. I love being around them, I like the small gestures that they do, I love hearing their advice, I like it when they let me talk to them and they give me feedback. I like their deep crackly voices too

I'm not sure if I'm putting out that I'm too desperate but I probably am I literally pretty much don't even have a dad so it's like I get super clingy and attach super hard.

I want a relationship and it's older man who doubles as my husband but he is also my father if that makes sense. I want to be led, I want to be guided, I want to be loved completely thoroughly and turned into a proper woman. I'm worried that the order I get less appealing I am to older men because it's like you should know what to do already you're an adult but it's like I still don't know really what to do

I'm into the older type that are 40 years or older but I don't know how to progress into a relationship. I was 19 and my boyfriend was 42 we dated for a few years before breaking up a while ago.

I'm so sad now. I don't know what to do.

I’ve always been attracted to older men. Once I turned 18, I dated a few guys in their 40s - 50s, and now that I’m 28, I’ve noticed my preferences keep getting older too.

I don’t really know how to explain it, but over the last couple of years, older men, like actual grandfathers, have genuinely become my type. I know that probably sounds weird, and honestly it’s hard to explain, but I find it really attractive when a man has kids around my age, and even more if he has grandkids.

The problem is that it’s hard to date men like that because most of them assume I’m after money or looking for a sugar daddy situation, which honestly isn’t the case at all.

Any advice on how to meet and date men 55+? I still haven’t figured out what my upper age limit is haha, but I guess maybe around 78