Was cheated on the entire time
I’ve been with my fiancé for many years.
Over the last few months, I found out he’s been cheating on me throughout most of our relationship with multiple women. He denied everything for months until I started finding undeniable evidence of multiple affairs.
I ended up reaching out to some of the women because at that point I couldn’t believe anything he told me. I honestly hate that I even had to disrespect myself like that, but he would deny even meeting these women when I had evidence right in front of me.
I feel like I found out the person I spent years building a life with had a completely separate life I knew nothing about.
I broke up with him, but somehow I’m still considering reconciliation. He’s remorseful now, says he loves me and wants to change. He is looking into sex addiction therapists.
I know exactly what I would tell another woman in my situation, which makes me feel even more stupid for struggling with this. But this is the only serious relationship I’ve ever known. Our lives and families are completely intertwined and it’s hard to just shut off years of loving someone.
Has anyone here actually rebuilt after long-term/serial cheating? What did your partner do that made you believe they had really changed?
And for anyone who tried to reconcile and eventually left, what finally made you realize you were done?
Please don’t judge me for even considering staying. I already feel stupid enough. I’m just really sad and having a hard time accepting that the person I thought I knew might not have existed the way I thought he did.