u/Spiritual-Ranger7107

I didn’t even realize it until I started reading stories about people getting ghosted, but I think I became super avoidant after my last relationship ( I ended bc I was just tired of it too controlling )😭 I’ll talk to someone for days or even months, then randomly open their messages and just not care enough to reply. It’s like I can’t even get excited about anyone anymore.

Now I’m hearing people tell mutual friends that I’m a player, but how? I feel like I was honest from day one. I literally told them it’s hard for me to like people and gave so many hints that I wasn’t emotionally invested. I ignored messages, told them to find other people, and never acted like I was deeply into it.

So how is it my fault if someone kept putting energy into something after I already showed them I couldn’t give the same back? Now they’re mad and calling me a player when I never promised them more than I could give.

A few months ago, I posted here feeling confused about two people I was talking to. Since then, I’ve been making a lot of dua, especially during Ramadan, asking Allah to guide me and choose what’s best for me.

I was intentionally avoiding flirting with either of them because I didn’t want to get emotionally attached without clarity. Eventually, I realized the difference between the two.

One of them was very intense and obsessive he would constantly say he loved me after just a few months, bring me gifts, and want to talk every single day. He also said he couldn’t live without me and got upset whenever I seemed busy or less responsive.

The other one was much more calm and understanding. He respects that I’m busy and doesn’t pressure me to constantly talk or meet.

Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed with school, work, and family responsibilities, so I haven’t been very active online. The more obsessive one started saying I was ignoring him, and today he said he’s confused and might just leave things as they are.

Honestly, I was already unsure about him because his intensity felt overwhelming for me. I’m a more laid-back, shy person, and his very extroverted, fast-paced energy didn’t really match mine.

Alhamdulillah, I feel like my dua was answered. I asked Allah to guide me to what’s best, and I think clarity has come. I realize I don’t do well with obsessive energy or constant pressure to be available all the time. I need space to focus on my responsibilities and peace of mind.