No job or friends after a breakup and I don't know what to do with myself :(
I'm almost 22 and this is the first time I've been single since I was 17. I was dating a guy over 10 years older than me who I'd been close friends with since I was 19, and we had a mutual breakup with lots of love but I can't deny the negative impact the relationship had on my growth as a young adult.
We didn't live together but I've never been an independent adult without him by my side, and I was really codependent with him so I feel like I've let my world view and sense of self become warped over time. Because he was jealous and I chose to use my relationship as an excuse to stay inside my comfort zone (I'm an anxious person by nature), I haven't really gone out to any bars, any friendships made at work id quickly abandon out of fear that they wanted to get into my pants (ex put this thought into my head and I struggle to trust my judgment with new people now.). I also had my last day at my job right before the breakup so I literally have no structure.
I know it'll be okay but I'm alone now and don't want to descend any further into this spiral. I have one friend who lives close by but they're busy often and I really need to expand my social life. I feel like I don't have a lot to talk about and I feel like a baby deer so I don't really know how to make friends in the wild. And im not sure what to do as a substitute for having friends in the meantime. Any advice would really help.
Thank you