What do I do?
Hi friends, I’ve posted in a dementia group before. Short run down of my fam, I 24F am the youngest of 5 children. My mom and dad got divorced back in 2022 and my mom has been showing signs of dementia. She can’t remember the month or day, keeps getting lost while driving, and hit my garage with her car the other day. She is currently living at my home because none of my other siblings will take her in and I travel full time for work. She can’t work her phone very well and doesn’t remember my dogs genders or names even though she’s lived with them for 3 months. I know it’s time to get power of attorney, and I asked her but she’s kind of stubborn saying she’s “totally healthy” and “only 62”.
I know she needs to be evaluated. I can’t have the conversation with her that she is forgetting things because she will get depressed and shut me down. She absolutely needs help. Do I get POA and make a neurologist appointment for her myself? Not tell her what it’s for as to not upset her and just has a family friend go with her? Also, she is supposed to be getting a 60,000 inheritance when my grandma passes.
My father is bipolar and abusive, they have been on and off the past couple years and he’s currently with another woman. She mentioned to a family friend the other day that “he will come running back when she gets her inheritance” I’m absolutely terrified because that is all the money she will have, and that needs to go to her care in the future. If this money does not go to her care, I will be the one paying the bill. As my 4 older siblings and barely getting by financially themselves. As the POA can I have that money put into a seperate account that she cannot give to him? Last time they were together(only lasted 9 days) he bought her a 8,000 car, 1500 at a grocery store and the list goes on. Again he is bipolar so he has very irresponsible behavior with money.
If she gets this money and he comes waltzing back in and spends this 60,000 in one month I do not know what will happen to my mom. Do I take financial and medical control and let her hate me and say I’m stealing her money? Or do I leave her to her own devices and not worry about what will happen to her? She is stubborn and unwilling to admit there’s an issue. I have no idea what to do. I know I need to get her tested, but have no idea how to do so without the POA.