u/SplitTricky6106

Hello. I am well aware that I may be the the jerk in this situation but I feel like I did everything else to get this dude out of my wife's life. Things have always been rocky between the three of us. My wife and I met while they were on one of their many breaks back in our senior year of high-school. The chemistry sparked fireworks between the two of us but those fireworks also started a forest fire love triangle. He would send me messages mocking me saying I need to stay away from "his girl" when she was always the one going to me. However their relationship eventually crashed after he ended up SA her at a concert. Not long after I swept her off her feet and helped her heal and now here we are 11 years later, married with 3 kids in our single family home. We never really did end up hearing the last of her ex though. He did end up getting married, however he was still trying to temperature check with my wife. The first time he reached out on FB. She never responded to that. Then he added her on Snapchat and she would just tell him something along the lines of "I dont think my husband would appreciate us talking" and then blocked him. Then last year he created another Snapchat adding her again. He said he had a dream that she was drowning and he had to save her or something really weird like that. My wife had shut that down also pretty much the same way except it was her friend that had her phone at the time that responded. I was getting really tired of this pattern and found his wifes phone number and sent her a text letting her know what has been happening. She seemed to be on my side trying to get to the bottom of this, but after some back and forth her demeanor changed and said she already knew about it and was okay with him reaching out to his ex that he claims he is not still obsessed with. Kinda speculation but I believe he took her phone and sent me that, something my wife confirmed was a common thing he did. Now to present day and I think the two of them either divorced or separated. Since then the dude moved back to our state. Last week he created yet another Snapchat account and added my wife yet again. My wife and i decided it was going to be me this time that messaged him. I cant recall my exact words but I spoke for her. Saying that "I am married and this is the 4th or 5th time you have tried this and it needs to stop". But because I knew this wouldn't solve anything like how it didn't last time. I decided that because he is a narcissist I needed to give him the belief that it is in his best interest to move on. I told him "I always loved my husband from the beginning. He was always there for me and that's why I slept with him at church camp while we were on a break. What I had with you was a trauma bond and I will never want you back in our lives. If you have unresolved issues you need to seek counseling or a friend." No one ever said anything about us sleeping together while they were on a break. I just hope it was enough to stop him from feeling the need to do his temperature checks ever again. Once the message was opened I blocked this account. Part of me feels like the A-hole for being mean, but its been 11 freaking years and being polite didn't work the other 3 times. Did I take it too far?