u/SprinklesOk7337

I finally gave him a true ultimatum with a time line. Since then he’s genuinely stepped up and is trying. I can’t help but feel like the only reason he stepped up is to protect his cushy life. I’ve told him how unhappy I was for years. Told him I feel like shit about myself from all the rejection every single day. Somehow none of that was enough tho to make him try. Suddenly when it might actually affect him he finds it in him to make an effort. Things still aren’t perfect either but I do see him making an effort

I feel bad because he’s doing the things I asked finally. It’s just the fact it took all it did. Im also having a hard time finding true attraction to him right now. I am so in my own head about how disgusting I feel now. I was never like that before. I’ve gotten to the point of being angry and I don’t know that I can move past that

I (HLF)finally had what I thought was the last “talk” about our lack of intimacy with my husband (LLM) . A few weeks ago I told him how I hate myself and feel absolutely disgusted in myself from all the rejection. I told him I felt like he was maybe asexual, he denied, and I asked if he wanted to open the marriage as a last resort. I told him if mechanically or mentally he couldn’t have sex I would stay with him, we just need to come up with some solution

He begged me not to sleep with someone else and swore he would do better. He told me he didn’t realize how much it affected me because he’s been so in his own head. I don’t know if I believe that since this has been an ongoing issue we’ve spoken about before.

The first maybe 3 or 4 days I felt like he was making an effort. We had sex twice, more than we’ve had the rest of the year. And then I feel like we’re just back to…. Nothing. No effort. It hurts even worse because I told him I feel like every few months I have a breakdown over this, he promises to be better, I get what I feel like is pitty sex, and then the whole cycle repeats. I really thought this time was different tho

I (HLF) am a long time lurker here. my husband (LLM) seem to have the same cycle of no intimacy, me breaking down to him about it, he promises to try to work on things, we have sex a week or two later and I get hopeful. then the cycle repeats.

he says his sex drive is killed bc of his antidepressants. I feel like an absolute dick bringing up sex to him almost like I’m asking him to choose me or antidepressants. I don’t want that. the constant rejection and lack of desire has ruined my self esteem tho. I feel so disgusting every time I think of myself even naked around him. if I sleep in just my underwear I panic and think he’ll wake up and be grossed out. I don’t know what to do anymore. a few days ago I made a joke about sex and he looked at me with disgust… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

sorry this is all over the place. so is my brain right now