u/Squoggs

Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/MatureStudentsUK/s/qf0GvCqSKj

I don’t know if anyone remembers my original post, but I’d like to thank those who commented for their warmth and support. I was so enveloped in everything that was going on that I couldn’t bring myself to reply to comments at the time, but I read them all and they really helped me to pull my head out of the sand and seek help. Again, thank you.

I’m equally elated and relieved to say that I completed my course with 45 distinctions. I’ve met my conditional offers for medicine and pending UCAS coming through, I should be starting in September. Never thought I’d say that!

I’m posting this update to say to anyone struggling through something like this, whether it’s Access or a degree or otherwise, that there is so much support out there for you and you are never alone. Your institution is there to help you and want to see you through; there’s numerous support services out there for whatever life is throwing at you; don’t be afraid to reach out to your support network (my family took over a lot of my day-to-day duties so I could see this through - I don’t know how I’ll repay them but I certainly find a way!).

Wishing everyone health and success, and keep supporting each other - you’ve all got this! ❤️

My partner and I (30s) had tickets to a concert about four hours away, so we had booked a hotel to stay overnight. Unfortunately I had a college assignment that was due in a few days. I was struggling with it and needed the time to complete it, so I couldn’t go.

He considered not going to the concert either, but I didn’t want him to miss out for a fuckup on my part so I encouraged him to see if anyone else could go with him. He thankfully managed to find someone so it went ahead as planned.

When he got back, he joked that he was glad I wasn’t one of those people who would’ve been mad at him for going ahead without me. I was just like, why would I be mad? I was just glad he didn’t miss out. He said his ex would’ve chewed him out for leaving her out even if she had encouraged him to do it.

He said it as a joke, but it got me thinking about it. It’s not the first time I’ve seen this sort of thing happening. I have male and female friends who cannot go out without their partners, or at least checking in with them every 10 minutes. And they seem to think it’s normal. My partner and I request that we let each other know when we arrive and leave so that we know each other is safe, but other than that, go and enjoy yourself.

It just saddens me that this behaviour is (or at least, seems to be) commonplace and even normalised. It feels so juvenile, and strikes me as quite abusive, frankly.

I’m 29. Two months off the end of my Access course. I have two offers for medicine, which has been my dream since I was a child. It took me this long to get this far, and it’s all falling apart.

In brief, my grandmother suddenly deteriorated at the end of January 2026. She went from semi independent with one carer a day to fully dependent, needing round-the-clock care for all aspects of life. As her primary caregiver, it was up to me to sort out all her affairs - care, legal, everything. Trying to do that, while maintaining her wish to remain and die at home, ended up being impossible - she died one week after moving into a nursing care home. That was about two weeks ago now.

I went from being on top of game, distinctions all round, work completed early to being so behind that I now have 7 assignments on the go at once. My tutor has been wonderfully supportive, giving me extensions everywhere, but we’re at the point now where I feel like I’m lying at the bottom of a grave - each assignment and day that goes by is dirt being shovelled onto me, and the dirt is now up to my neck.

Getting into med was hell - the admissions test was horrible. Interviews were even worse. The stress of that all alone was backbreaking. I don’t think I can do it again. So restarting my Access course doesn’t feel like a viable option.

I don’t know what to do. I think I’m depressed. I have been having panic attacks for the first time in years. I’m already off work with stress and I still don’t feel like I have the time to do it. I’m just screaming into the void here. I’m sorry.