I’m A Police Officer In A Small Town. I’ve Stopped Trying to Make Sense of The Calls.
Yes, that does sound very cliche but I don’t care. It’s true.
I’ve been on the job for about 12 years. I’ve been patrolling this town for about 3 of those years. I’m not going to say where the town is because I do not want to face any backlash from the higher ups. The department has “opinions” on what gets talked about. Just know that this town is a place where everyone knows everyone. If anything interesting happens expect everyone to have heard about it in 20 or so minutes.
When I first started working in this town, I treated it like every other place I’ve worked at. I was friendly but stern when I needed to be. I wanted to make everyone feel safe and like they could reach out to me if they needed. That would have been fine if this place was normal and as you could have guessed, it’s not. Things happen here that if they were to happen anywhere else it would be all over the news and internet. Everything here is kept in house, for the most part. Occasionally we do get help from a nearby church and psychic but those are stories for another day when I have A LOT more time. For now I’ll just touch on a few of the weird happenings that occur here.
I guess I’ll start from when I first got transferred here. Oh yeah, coming here was not my decision. It was kind of a “voluntold” situation. It was strongly suggested that I come here because of how I handled chaotic situations in the past. I was under the impression this was a step in the right direction for my career. A way to get in the bosses good graces. That was my first of many wrong assumptions when it came to this town.
Wanna hear about my first day? Of course you do, you wouldn’t have gotten this far otherwise. I was excited about the change in scenery. It was a fresh start for me, so when I strolled into the precinct that first night, I had my head high and a smile plastered across my face. The first thing I noticed was how oddly quiet it was. There was no desk officer sitting behind the desk and the Sergeant’s office door was closed. I awkwardly made my way to the locker room to put on my freshly pressed uniform. It was there that I had my first interaction with someone who works here. For story purposes we shall call him Officer Brad. Actually no. Steve. We will call him Steve.
Steve was an older cop, he was what we like to call “A salty vet”. He would get bothered real easily over nonsense. He had just finished putting on his gun belt as I was walking in. Trying to make a good impression I went up to introduce myself.
“Hey, how’s it going? I’m Chris just uh, just transferred in. It’s my first shift”
Steve looked at me with zero expression on his face. I’m talking not even an eyebrow raise. After what felt like 30 seconds he finally responded.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Well off to a great start, I thought.
“Ha, yeah. How is it here? Anything I should be aware of?”
“Yes, lots of things you should familiarize yourself with.”
I was waiting for the second half of that sentence. Hoping he would tell me what to get familiar with exactly. Instead he just kind of brushed past me and walked out.
I figured he was just counting down the days to retirement and chalked up him being an asshole to that.
After finding my locker and putting on my uniform I headed back toward the desk to try and locate my patrol car keys. To my surprise there was still no one seated behind the desk. Everyplace that I’ve worked at, it was mandatory to always have someone behind the desk. You needed someone to dispatch, receive calls, or handle walk-ins. But here I was standing alone at the desk. I figured I would try and find the Sergeant. As I approached the office I noticed something that wasn’t there before. There was a note taped to the door.
“Keys in visor, car parked out back.”
“Alright…” I said to myself.
I headed toward the back door expecting to run into some more cops at the very least but it was like no one else was in the building. When I reached the patrol car I was let down to say the least. The car was in horrible shape. Dents on the body and scratches on the window. Guess that’s what you get when you work in a small town. I thought. I opened the door and sure as shit the keys were in the visor. I put the keys in the ignition and the engine coughed to life. I turned on the car radio and pulled out to the road to start my first shift.
Before I continue with details from my first shift I want you to understand how strange this all was. Normally when you start your shift there is a roll call. Think of it as attendance in school. Basically a way to make sure you are there. There is also post assignments that are supposed to be given out. None of this happened. Not only did none of that happen but when I say no one else was in the building, I mean no one. Not just desk officers or supervisors. I’m talking no other cops besides Salty Steve, not even a cleaning crew. Once I had my keys I really just wanted to leave that building.
Night one was pretty quiet for the first half. Not a single call. I actually thought my radio was off or broken with how quiet it was. I even tried keying up the radio just to make sure it worked and it gave an audible beep which let me know it was in fact working.
I was about 3 hours into my shift when I heard the radio go off.
“Unit 1 on the air?”
I didn’t answer because I had no idea what my post designation was. I thought maybe it might be somebody else.
“Unit 1, come up on the air.”
Radio silence.
“Chris…”
I wasn’t expecting that. No one has ever dispatched me by my first name it was always Officer (insert last name) or my post. I fumbled the microphone and responded.
“Go for unit 1?”
“Yeah, thats you. Got a job for ya.”
“Copy, go with it.”
“Head over about 2 blocks. You’ll see a blue house with its porch light on. A man will be waiting outside for you. He called 911 stating his wife isn’t feeling well. EMS is about 5 minutes out. Check and advise once you’re on scene.”
“Roger, show me responding.”
I arrived on scene 5 minutes after dispatch sent me. There was a man standing outside of a blue house flagging me down. I put the car in park and walked over to the house.
“Evening, Officers. Thank you for your timely response.”
“Sure thing, what’s going on?”
“It’s my wife she’s sick. It started out as a cold but it’s gotten a bit worse.”
Oh great let me be her hero and grab her a tissue box.
“I see, is there anything else? Is she throwing up? Anything that requires immediate attention?”
“Nope, just that Officers. Just not feeling well but I would really appreciate if you could go and check on her.”
Alright the first time I brushed it off. Why was he saying “Officers.” It was only me, no one else was on scene.
“She’s right inside, bedroom is the first door on the right.”
The lights in the house were on, but dim. Before i stepped inside I radioed over to dispatch.
“Unit 1 to dispatch, I’m on scene. Gentleman is stating his wife isn’t feeling well. I’m gonna step inside and make sure she’s okay while I wait for EMS.”
No response from dispatch.
I took a cautious step inside and headed for the bedroom. As I approached the door I felt the husband walking slowly behind me. I stepped to the side.
“Why don’t you lead the way, you know your house better than me.”
“Surely!”
He stepped in front of me and reached for the door handle.
“Fair warning, she’s a bit tired. She hasn’t been able to get much sleep with this damn cold.”
“Got it…” I responded.
As the door opened I could see the bed was disheveled. The blankets were thrown about and the pillows were on the floor. With that being said I didn’t see this sick woman. All I saw was an empty bed. As I stepped into the room I was immediately working up a sweat. The bedroom was so unbelievably hot. It was like stepping into a sauna. I asked him where his wife was and before he could answer I heard someone behind the door.
“I’m right here silly…”
I jumped out of my skin not expecting a “sickly” woman to be on her feet hiding behind a door.
“Jesus! What the hell are you doing?!”
She frowned “I can’t sleep!” She responded in a child like voice.
“Okay ma’am, I’m going to need you to sit down on the bed. EMS is coming to evaluate you and help you out.”
“Oh let’s play a game! Up for some hide and seek?!”
What the hell was going on? This woman who was supposed to be sick was not only standing up but pacing around her room. All while her husband stood idly by just smiling.
“I’ll hide first and you have to find me!” The woman said. Her eyes were open as wide as I have ever seen.
“Oh, she’s really good at this game! She always picks the best spots, you guys could never find her!”
What the fuck was happening. This had to be some sort of new guy hazing. It had to be. Either that or these people were out of their fucking minds.
The woman sprinted out of her room giggling and screaming “You’ll never find me!!!”
“Go on Officers, find her…before she finds you. she HATES when you don’t play the game right.”
Yup, nope, I got the fuck out of there. I 100% ran back to my car and radioed dispatch to send another unit. Just as I had finished my transmission EMS pulled up.
“Do not go in there! This woman is batshit crazy!”
EMS just stared at me.
“You’re new here huh?”
“What? Yes, well no. New here, not new to the job. It doesn’t matter I know fucking crazy when I see it.”
“Nah they do this. We will give her a tranq and this won’t happen for another week or two.”
And with that EMS entered the house and I sat there in shock. Sure enough a few minutes later they were back outside and heading back into their truck.
“You’ll get used to it. A lot of weird shit happens around here just understand that this was a tame incident.”
“Uh, uh, yeah yeah got it, thanks”
“See ya Chris.”
That was the first night of my time here. As you could imagine I definitely have some more stories. If you’re interested I’d be happy to share some more.