So exhausted. I don't understand why it isn't happening for us
I don’t even know what I’m looking for with this post. Maybe I just need to vent to people who understand.
My husband and I have been trying for 10 cycles about to go into cycle 11, and I’m reaching the point where I genuinely don’t understand why it isn’t happening. I had a chemical in cycle 1, and I've done 7 letrozole cycles though only 2 with monitoring. In my first monitored cycle we realized that my follicles on meds were growing too big before ovulating so this cycle we added the trigger shot.
I’m 28 with PCOS, but I ovulate on my own. My tubes are open, I had a submucosal fibroid removed, my husband’s semen analysis is normal, and I’m now seeing a reproductive endocrinologist. He reviewed everything and called us “unexplained.”
If someone told me, “Here’s the problem, and here’s how we’ll fix it,” I think I’d cope better. Instead, I’m left wondering every month whether it was the egg, the embryo, implantation, timing, or just bad luck.
I’ve had one biochemical pregnancy, which almost makes it harder. It proved that fertilization and implantation can happen, but then nothing since.
This cycle felt so promising. I had two mature follicles, a beautiful trilaminar lining, a trigger shot, perfect timing, and I’m even on Endometrin. I let myself believe maybe this would finally be it.
Now I’m sitting here at 11 DPO with multiple negative tests, trying to prepare myself for another cycle ending.
The emotional roller coaster is honestly the worst part. Every twinge makes you wonder. Every cramp makes you hope. Every negative test feels like you’re grieving something that almost existed.
What really gets me is that most couples seem to get pregnant within six months. I know statistics don’t predict what will happen to one individual, but it’s hard not to feel like we’ve somehow fallen onto the wrong side of them.
I’m also struggling with the fear of what’s next. My RE wants to do two monitored letrozole cycles and then move to IUI if needed, and I keep wondering if IVF is ultimately where we’re headed.
Did anyone else have completely unexplained infertility and eventually conceive without IVF? Or did you eventually get an answer after months of wondering “why”?
I think I just need to hear from people who have been where I am, because tonight this feels incredibly lonely. I personally don't know anyone who has been through this and everyone tells me when I relax it will happen but I don't believe it.