r/TryingForABaby

2 years TTC — secondary infertility 💔

I had my son in 2020 with no issues. In 2024, we started trying for baby #2. I got pregnant the first month but miscarried at 8 weeks.

Since then, all our testing has come back normal. Tubes open, sperm good, regular cycles, and I ovulate monthly. My first IUI resulted in a chemical pregnancy, my second failed, and I’ve had 3 failed cycles with Clomid/timed intercourse and progesterone. Changed doctors did 2 cycles with him just progesterone.

I’m now 34 with an AMH of 2.83. My doctor wants me to try another IUI, but I’m self-pay and spending $1,500–$2,000 per cycle. I can use that money towards IVF

Would you keep trying IUIs or move on to IVF? I’m so overwhelmed and don’t know what to do. 😩💔

Never had a positive test. I have endo symptoms but a clear ultrasound and normal labs. My husband has had 2 SAs, both came back with normal motility, good volume, count at the lowest end of normal, and low morphology. At first, his reproductive urologist did not make it seem like this was the sole reason we weren’t conceiving. She said it was “enough for IUI” and didn’t make it seem like our chances for spontaneous conception were exceptionally low.

Then they did a “test wash” for the second SA and the “post wash” total motile count was less than 1 million (almost 98% motile were lost.) Zero explanation just “not enough for IUI. Hope varicocele surgery helps.”

I tried for months to find any information about what these borderline numbers actually mean and came up empty. Finally meet her in person for the surgery and I ask how aggressively we should be pursuing IVF because I don’t understand what’s going on. She finally tells me that “with your current results, IVF is the most realistic option.” She put our IUI probability at less than 2% and I’m guessing spontaneous conception even lower.

She said something like 65% of people see improvement after surgery but reading between the lines…she’s saying we’re probably not magically going to be at spontaneous conception numbers. Maybe we’ll get to do IUI if we’re lucky.

The worst part isn’t IVF. I wish we could just start now. It’s the months and months of false hope and now waiting more months to get the follow up analysis and probably just end up at the IVF clinic almost a year from now once we’re finally cleared to start and off the wait list. After probably being forced by insurance to try IUI when there’s no hope.

Why, why wasn’t it clearly communicated to us MONTHS ago that our chances were this low? I’m begging any medical professionals who read this post to PLEASE communicate clearly even when the results are bad. The heartbreak is unreal.

Even on this sub people were really dismissive when I asked what our results meant and…lo and behold all my fears are finally confirmed.

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

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We are planning for our first kid, and have been consulting a reputed OB-Gyn in our city. Myself 45 and my wife 38 (both in our second marriage). There is no history of previous pregnancy history as such

With a feasible AMH level and a positivE HSG tests - she was advised to take Letrozole after menstruation stops and we tried on planned dates (ie 14-20 days before next cycle starts). Got lucky and she got pregnant in first attempt itself

However, sadly, we had to get pregnancy terminated in around 8 or 10 weeks as fetal heart beats had stopped . We got it examined and it got confirmed as Monosomy

Now we are confused with differing recommendations :-

1. OB Gyn says try naturally for 6 months (starting after 3 months of termination) , then she will advise on IUI or IVF. No Letrozole recommended this time
2. Our Endocrinologist (as she has weight-loss issues and is a prediabetic) suggests her age is advancing and generic complications like monosomy can come again. So go for IUI/IVF soon

Now we are confused, who to follow … requesting if any of the redditors can share their experience and any specific line of actions we need to take

Many thanks 🙏

Hi everyone! I have a question that I'm wondering if any of the more experience minds here can answer. We have just started TTC - in cycle one right now - so no problems so far; I'm just curious/slightly anxious.

Does anyone know if extremely mild twinges starting 6-7 DPO are cause for concern? Could this be a symptom of something like endometriosis, and would it be a hindrance to implantation?

A little info about me:

31 years old

Regular cycles 28-31 days with periods lasting 5-6 days. The length of my cycle has never been 100% consistent, but it is always within this range. Everything else about my cycle always follows the same pattern.​

Bleeding is light to moderate. On the heaviest day, it would probably take me six hours to soak through a regular pad. From day 3 on, it's extremely light - I could use the same pad all day if not for hygiene/smell.

No spotting before or after.

Recently started using LH tests and temping. Everything looks as it should. LH surge usually lasts for about 36 hours (I think this may be on the long end?), and then my BBT starts to rise two days after my first positive LH test.

All in all, it seems my cycle is perfectly healthy but for two small things.

The first is really bad pain on day 1. Moderate cramping typically starts a day or two before my period - about 4-5/10 on my personal pain scale, able to function normally. Day 1 is bad, although how bad has varied a lot over the years and been better recently. For about the last year, I would describe the pain as about a 7-8 on the pain scale before taking painkillers. 1000 mg acetominophen brings it down to about a 5.

It was worse a couple of years ago - the worst pain I have ever felt, immobilizing, definitely a 9 or 10 for me - but I made a lot of lifestyle changes around sleep, hydration, and exercise and I think that made a difference. The pain has only ever been this bad on day 1.

By mid-way through day 2, it's much better. Pain is back to a 4-5 before painkillers and I can function normally. From day 3 on I have no pain.

My other concern, and the subject of this post, is these twinges that I start to feel around 6-7 DPO.

These cramps/twinges are intermittent, lasting anywhere from a few seconds to several minutes, a couple times a day, and very mild. I wouldn't describe them as pain or even discomfort - more just feeling something in my pelvis, like an awareness of it that isn't there most of the time. I would put them at a 0.5-1 on the pain scale if I had to.

This will continue at more or less the same intensity until my actual period cramps start about two days before my period.

I have addressed both the early "cramping" and the bad pain on day 1 with my doctor, but I was told it was nothing to worry about given that my pain is only very bad for one day, my cycles are regular, and my periods are not heavy.

Mainly I'm worried that (1) this could somehow be a hindrance to implantation, since period cramps are mild uterine contractions, and (2) that it could be a symptom of a deeper problem like endo. I've done as much research as I can but haven't found very many answers.

I saw one post on this sub that suggested that what I'm feeling could be decidualization and that it's nothing to worry about, but I couldn't find much else supporting the idea that decidualization can be felt.

I’ve been using OPKs for over a year and have a (usually) very predictable LH surge. I recently added BBT via TempDrop to my arsenal of tools, but I’m having a hard time interpreting the data.

In your experience, how does temperature shift relate to OPK peak? Which one do you rely on most to accurately determine ovulation? (Is it that LH predicts when it’s coming and temp determines whether it’s occurred?)

Regarding TempDrop: How many cycles did it take for a meaningful pattern to emerge? Right now, it looks like I had a temp spike days before ovulation, then a significant drop, now a gradual rise (too early to tell if it’s sustained/continuing to trend upward).

Just trying to make heads or tails of everything 🥴

Any insight is helpful and appreciated.

Hi everyone,

I’ve just done my first medicated cycle with Letrozole. I had two follicles and triggered Thursday night. I likely ovulated today around noon. Shortly after noon, I got the worst sciatic pain I’ve ever had. Has anyone ever experienced this when using Letrozole? Google says it can happen but it’s not common. Just looking for any similar experiences to make sure I’m not nuts! lol I know it’s sciatic pain because I have had a previous back injury but this time I don’t hurt my back or even do anything that would have. It’s so bizarre. I have also read this happens with endometriosis. I’ve not been diagnosed with endo and don’t have any symptoms of it. My cycles are pretty regular and I never have any ovulatory pain in a typical cycle.

I am in the US and my job does not offer short term disability insurance nor offer paid maternity leave. I do get FMLA but that is not paid for during leave.

I contacted a private short term disability insurance and they cover 4 weeks vaginal and 6 weeks C-section. The benefit coverage is 3 months and 85 dollars a month with a 9 month waiting period. Though, if I were to have a normal, easy delivery with no complications, I would only get 4-6 weeks paid coverage, not 3 months.

Just starting to think I will just have to use sick time and PTO which in total is 4 weeks and just save my own money aside.

I live in Florida and I do not see any state programs for maternity leave. Any suggestions? What are you guys doing to prepare?

[supprimé]

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