HSG test
Me and my husband have been trying for almost 3 years. We’ve had two losses 4/2025 and 1/2026, the most recent one happened while being hospitalized for other issues. This last ovulation week we were really confident but got my period early and later confirmed with a negative test. With concern of only being 23, previous emergency surgery for a cystectomy(still have both ovaries), 5 years of being on the pill, and 2 years with an iud we decided to make an appointment at a fertility clinic. Consultation went great i love the doctor he is absolutely amazing and so kind. My first appointment afterwards was a HSG test. I dont enjoy anesthesia at all so opted out and did it while awake.
We had to travel almost two hours as they only work with a specific surgery center attached to a branch of their office. So while my husband drove i had plenty of time to worry and stress. We had to be there an hour before my appointment time for his analysis so i had plenty of time to sit, think,and wait there as well. The actual operating area is in the basement, it was very unwelcoming and unnerving. I walked in, had to strip everything, lock all of my belongings in a locker, put on a gown, a hairnet and paper booties. The office and the surgery center don’t communicate at all, i was told i would need to pee as soon as i arrived. That was not true, i almost peed myself so i had to go. Begged for a cup they would not give me one. I was anxious and could not pee for the life of me when the time came, no one was really explaining anything to me about how they do things or the procedure and they made it seem like my fault that i didn’t know anything.
I was worried they would cancel my appointment if i couldnt go in a timely manner and thats how they were acting. But it turns out the dr didnt even show up til one hour and 15 minutes passed my appointment time. I finally pee, but im in an untied gown sitting on a tiny chair ontop of a puppy pad with absolutely nothing to distract myself. I cried (not sobbing just quietly) almost the entire time i was waiting and all of the staff made me feel so bad for it. They kept making comments about how young i was and that it was a simple procedure, kept comparing it to an mri with contrast (terrible comparison) they made it seem so easy breezy i didnt ask a million questions(my fault). I wasn’t worried about the results but i couldn’t control my feelings at all. i felt so vulnerable and just stripped of dignity. It was the environment, the demeanor, it didn’t feel like a medical center at this point. I felt like i was living something out of handmaids tale, it was so robotic and just a repeating process they do all the time. It’s true i was the youngest in there, they were being so nice to everyone else. It made me feel terrible. The actual procedure at the time felt like the worst thing and it would never end. Besides the physical part of it i just emotionally feel terrible. I cried before due to nerves/stress/how i was being treated. i cried during the procedure because of pain, i cried after because i just felt like garbage emotionally. Im not expecting princess treatment at all but i just feel like i was treated as property or something rather an actual human being with feelings.
Besides how i felt i was treated did anyone else feel a huge emotional toll after this? Im really not looking for pity. I know im not alone and others are doing other procedures that could be worse, but i do feel alone and like a huge baby. I was honestly just hoping for some compassion during all of it i guess. Its already a super emotional topic for me, i cant really pull it together to tell friends and family we’re struggling. I get harassed about being pregnant pretty much at every gathering. I just wanted my husband down there with me it was all so terrifying. Unless they put me under as soon as i changed into the gown it would have been the same outcome, even worse after the procedure because of how i react to anesthesia.