u/StillJustJones

Hiya, next week we’re off to Dorset camping right on the southwest coastal path.

We haven’t been camping in a couple of years, so yesterday I did some due diligence and took our bell tent to our local park to put it up and ensure all the gubbins and bits and bobs were present and correct.

It was a bugger to get pegs into the ground! I have a limited number of rock pegs and even those were a nightmare to a) get pegged in and b) were so difficult to get out, I had to abandon some!

How is everyone else managing? Any tips for success?

Way to narrow it down, honestly what a plonker.

I’m on holiday in quite a posh hotel in Madeira with my family.

It’s been one of those times where I’ve been internally ‘hearing’ bean jingles at incredibly regular intervals.

We spoke to the mum of a fellow British family (who were from Barnet (cue the London jingle) who was lamenting that her husband was stuck in the hotel room as he had a gippy tum - apparently he’d been ‘on the big porcelain telephone to god’ and after all the vomit had stopped he was now ‘being sick out of his arse’ (cue the digestive tract talk jingle).

I, being a fully signed up member of the middle aged provincial dad’s club, had brought with me allergy relief, pain relief, insect repellent and Imodium. I offered these to her and she was incredibly grateful, saying her husband would have never thought to be so prepared (cue the provincial dad jingle).

This morning, at breakfast (cue the Foriegn Holiday Breakfast Buffet jingle) my partner commented on how one of the processed meats (from a tube) was interesting as it had lots of olives running through the slices and was ‘dead garlicky’ which she thought was odd for a choice for breakfast (cue the cured meats of the continent jingle).

We went on a vineyard/Madeira wine tasting tour I said I needed some ‘Madeira cake’ to soak it up… and hot a blank look from the local guy. I had to explain that in England there’s a type of cake called ‘Madeira cake’ that has nothing to do with Madeira but was invented by Victorians especially to accompany imported Madeira wine (cue the Explainer for non-British Listeners jingle).

We’re only on day two.

What other bean related shenanigans will come during the rest of our stay? A Plemons movie dubbed into Portuguese on’t telly? The dad from Barnet being called Neil? The pumping music in the hotel Gym being ‘Live It! Feel It! Be It!’?

My other half and 11 year old son aren’t listeners…. But I felt I needed to share with people who would appreciate.

Pompidou!

Update - hotel the ala carte restaurant (an Italian style trattoria) we’ve booked into for tomorrow instead of the buffet meal has Tiramisu on the menu.

I was chatting to my elderly father-in-law recently about his special interest…. Water Towers.

He was quite sad. Over his lifetime he’s been part of the ‘British Water Tower Appreciation Society’.

He’s put incredible amounts of research, time and nerdy love into the various water towers of the British isles. He has even arranged for the group to visit water towers in continental Europe. They even had a calendar one year.

When comes to Water Towers, he sees those that are still standing as wonders of engineering and iconic industrial Victorian treasures.

He was sad because the group’s members are all old and they haven’t got any younger members.

I said, I thought I knew where there might be some people that would like to know that the society existed.

When I got to St Pancras today as I got off the train and was heading up the stairs the infamous inspector sands was called to the operations room. So TFL staff stopped anyone else entering the station, and about 15 minutes later, we got the evacuation alarm.

I could not believe how rude and nasty some of the fellow passengers were to the staff. People threatening to sue being delayed and just downright abusive, even after being told there was a fire alert being investigated!

Do people want to go into a potentially burning tube station? I will say most people are fine and understanding, but I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing and hearing!