Duvet is basically in a mental health freefall at the moment, and they're putting all their time into games. If Duvet isn't playing games or sleeping, then they're completely miserable. Duvet is a very, very sad person, and they don't want to think about anything anymore.
There's always something to do, and doing it every day is agonising. Got to eat and use the bathroom and brush your teeth and shower and clean and ughhh Duvet can't manage it most of the time. It's so embarrassing for Duvet to have to ask their parent for help putting their sheets on because otherwise they wouldn't have the motivation.
Duvet's parent understands that Duvet is wrong in the head, but that doesn't mean that Duvet isn't being a burden. Duvet wants to go rot somewhere so their parent has one less thing to stress over.
Duvet made a bit of progress today by going to get some fish and chips! It was a short walk, maybe ten minutes, and the workers were very nice even when Duvet got anxious and stuttered a lot. Duvet felt like they were going to get laughed at, but they didn't. They workers were quiet and said it was okay to start the order again instead of trying to force the words out.
Duvet might try to go and get some more in a week or so. It's really tasty, and they need to get some sun, even if it's only for a few minutes.
All Duvet does is feel depressed and play video games. It's been months but it's felt like a few weeks because every day is the fucking same. It's always wake up and feel depressed and try not to hurt yourself and read fanfics or watch youtube or play games. Duvet feels like a neglected sim.
Duvet sucks and they don't deserve such a nice family. Duvet doesn't deserve to be a shut-in or a comfy bed or anything nice. Duvet hates Duvet.
Trigger warning for suicide.
Duvet thinks that they might be passively suicidal. On the odd occasion they do go outside, they hope for a freak accident to happen. They hope that the atoms align and they sink into the earth or for lightning to strike. Anything really.
Duvet doesn't believe in an afterlife but they hope there is one. Duvet hopes that they're happier there.
Duvet is currently taking a pause from playing Resident Evil 4 (2005). They're stuck in bed as they don't have the energy to stand up, and their cat is sleeping on the weighted blanket at the end of their bed. Duvet feels hungry, but not quite hungry enough to make food just yet.
Duvet asks themself this question often as a grounding technique. It helps them get out of their own cruel head for a minute or two. Duvet really hopes this helps you as well!! <3
Done nothing substantial for several weeks at this point. Duvet's parent keeps trying to coax them into the garden for some sun. Duvet would rather hibernate until late September, though. It's so easy to be bleak and let yourself get worse when you're a shut-in.
Duvet doesn't even feel like they're a human being at this point. They've been half zoned out for months, and they fail at basically every interaction. Duvet was playing video games in a public lobby earlier, and when they spoke, somebody called them "odd" and "slow". Duvet spent so long trying to build up the confidence to talk, too.
Rant post, sorry. Life has been very rough for Duvet recently, and all they really want is a hug from someone. It's weird to say that because Duvet can hardly handle hugs from close family members. It's just been on their mind a lot lately.
Stuffed toys and pillows aren't enough, and whenever Duvet thinks about hugs for too long they want to sob. Even if Duvet was normal in the head and did go outside, they have no idea how to get close enough to someone to feel comfortable touching them. Duvet isn't made for contact.