u/Stillmoons

The man who r*ped me as a child is being held without bail right now because of my report 2 years ago. He could get anywhere from 2 years to life Or nothing at all perhaps.. I dont know if they'll believe me at the trial whenever that may be. I hope they will.. But i dont trust the justice system.

I do genuinely believe my life would be so much better knowing hes in jail forever. Please god grant me some sort of peace. Please. I just want my mind to quiet down and for the 12 year old version of me to stop being so scared of the world

I told my mom about him being in jail. As a child she didn't know the full story, but she knew enough and blamed me for the actions of a grown man.

She didn't protect me She apologized yesterday and cried. I didnt feel any sort of relief or justice from that. It didnt fix what was broken or make me feel any better, i just felt empty. Some people shouldn't be allowed kids.

>! The man who r*ped me as a child is being held without bail right now because of my report 2 years ago.

He could get anywhere from 2 years to life

Or nothing at all perhaps..

I dont know if they'll believe me at the trial whenever that may be.

I hope they will..

But i dont trust the justice system.

I do genuinely believe my life would be so much better knowing hes in jail forever.

Please god grant me some sort of peace.

Please.

I just want my mind to quiet down and for the 12 year old version of me to stop being so scared of the world

I told my mom about him being in jail.

As a child she didn't know the full story, but she knew enough and blamed me for the actions of a grown man.

She didn't protect me

She apologized yesterday and cried.

I didnt feel any sort of relief or justice from that.

It didnt fix what was broken or make me feel any better, i just felt empty.

Some people shouldn't be allowed kids. !<

Cw: sa

The man who hurt me as a kid was arrested yesterday.

I dont know how to feel, i feel everything all at once.

When it gets too quiet i think of him.

I can remember every detail of his studio apartment, the dog that barked at me as we stood outside waiting for an uber.

I remember him being so tall, or maybe i was just so small.

I remember what i wore and coming home to wishing i could bun all my skin off.

I pretended to be strong but i was only 11.

I had a tinkerbell birthday cake that year.

I remember walking to class thinking of how im the only kid there thats experienced this.

I hate how he grew like mold on my mind.. i know he barely thought of me after.

I hope someone believes me and he stays in jail, but no one likes a girl with mostly just her memory to go off of.

After this i still have 1 more person to put in jail, another one too but that one i know for sure i have nothing on him.

Im sick and tired of people.

How hard is it to not hurt a child and why didn't no one help me?

The man who sexually assaulted me as a 11 year old was finally arrested today.

I reported him about 2 years ago now, i have so little evidence besides my memory.

I hope i can keep him in jail.

I hope he never hurt any other children and i wish i had enough support as a child to have reported it sooner. I dont know how to feel, hes having a bail hearing tomorrow apparently.

Its my birthday next week and all ive been able to think about is what he did to me on my 12th birthday.

It wasnt the worst that he had done but it being my birthday made me remember it the most. I remember my tinker bell birthday cake and i just cant understand still how the fuck a grown man could do that.

Im disgusted by people. I have a feeling what i have wont keep him in jail, i dont have much faith in the justice system.

I just want someone anyone to believe me and for people to know who he really is. I hope i can get some justice. Tho it won't fix what happened, i just want to not go out in public with the fear id see him again. I hope he rots.

Any inconvenience in his life is a win for me, im just so tired of feeling like he took a part of me with him.

Its taken me years to even feel like ¾ of a person again.

all ive ever wanted is to become something, anything really.
i want to go back to school. I've been wanting to for 2 years now.. but life had other plans. I physically can't get myself to even go to a job. I have no idea how I'd be with classes. It'd probably be a big waste of money and time.
I just want so badly to be back to creating and learning, I want to learn to create with something that isn't just my pain.

If I do go, what do I do after? How will I do? How will I be able to be around that many people again?

The estimate I received for a 1-year college certificate course was 5,000$.
I don't have, and I'm terrified of having any debt.
I know my friends who do have their lives together look at me like I'm nothing.

I feel utterly useless, I wish my parents had set me up for success, I wish life had kept itself together for a bit, I wish I wasn't racked with guilt.
I'm worried I will become my mother, that I will live off the government forever and become nothing. I work, but not enough, and it's not even really a job.

im just so sick of feeling everything all the time, I never get a moment's peace in my head, i just want to not feel this way anymore.

I'm tired of relying on other people.