Trisomy 21: Need Guidance as a Husband
I’m hoping to hear from others for guidance and perspective.
I am 37 my wife is 39. My wife is 13 weeks and our baby was diagnosed with Trisomy 21. We are devastated. I told her we should TFMR but she does not know if she could go through with it. I also told her I will absolutely love the baby with all my heart and told her that I would never have any resentment towards her if we have the baby. I’m not scared of raising a child with a disability, I’m scared of caring for an adult with a disability. We have a healthy 3 year old, and I also do not want to put the burden on him of caring for a disabled sibling when we are gone.
As the father, I feel like I’m looking at the situation in a cold and calculated way. In my head, I want her to move on from this pregnancy so we can start planning for the next one. We have a healthy embryo we could transfer from a round of IVF (this baby with
Trisomy 21 was conceived naturally).
However, I realize how selfish that is on my end. She will have to deal with the procedure and the physical and emotional toll to a much greater extent than me.
Regardless what we do, I will support her decision. Im just hoping to hear from both people who decided to TFMR and also people who have children with
Trisomy 21.
Thanks