u/Strange_Specific_437

it’s crazy how silence can answer every question you were too scared to ask.
i really thought i would’ve heard something by now… anything. a text, a call, even anger.

instead i had to sit with the possibility that maybe there really was someone else the whole time.

i wanted us to build something real. a foundation. something healthy after all the chaos. but maybe disappearing was your closure.

and maybe my closure is finally accepting it and moving on.🖤

it’s been a week and I still catch myself wondering where things really went wrong between us. I keep replaying everything in my head trying to understand how we went from talking all the time to complete silence.

I noticed little things while we were together that hurt me. Certain actions, certain energy shifts, things that made me question what was going on behind my back… but even then, I still wanted us to work because I cared about you that deeply. I saw the good in you even when things got toxic at times.

I think a part of me understood you still had growing to do, and instead of judging you for it, I tried to be patient and love you through it. Maybe too patient. But our connection felt real to me. We motivated each other, opened up to each other, and helped each other in ways people on the outside probably wouldn’t understand.

What hurts now is wondering if any of it weighs on your mind the way it weighs on mine. I know I should probably just move forward and stop holding onto the ‘what ifs,’ but the truth is… I miss you. Not even just the relationship, but you as a person.
You were my bestfriend …

I just wish things didn’t end the way they did… maybe you’ll come back one day

My relationship got really toxic over time and we eventually agreed we needed space. The problem is that whenever I tried to take space for my own peace of mind, it would get turned into me “trying to leave” or give up on the relationship, even when that genuinely wasn’t my intention. At one point I was staying with his family, and it started feeling like I couldn’t even step away without it becoming an emotional situation or argument.

The confusing part is that our connection genuinely felt deep. We encouraged each other a lot, supported each other through hard times, talked about God, growth, goals, and really motivated one another in certain ways. That’s part of why this has been so hard for me to let go of emotionally.

But there were also a lot of red flags I ignored. Especially things I would see on social media, inconsistent behavior, and him ghosting or disappearing during conflict instead of communicating directly. Over time, I also started noticing that whenever I would express hurt, confusion, or question certain behavior, it would somehow get flipped into me being “insecure,” even when some of my feelings were coming from real things I had seen or experienced. After a while it started making me question myself constantly.

Now we’re broken up after a lot of trust issues and back-and-forth, and I feel emotionally confused. One minute he says he doesn’t want a relationship and can talk to whoever he wants because he’s single, but then he’ll still talk about God, our connection, and how maybe we could work out in the future. Then after all of that, he barely reaches out for days at a time.

Deep down, I know I probably should just move on and finally throw in the towel. I’m not posting this because I’m desperate or trying to hold onto someone who clearly isn’t showing up correctly. I think I just genuinely want outside perspectives and conversation from people who’ve experienced similar dynamics, because it’s hard to separate real connection from emotional confusion when you’re in the middle of it.

I genuinely can’t tell if he’s emotionally confused himself, avoiding accountability, or if he just wants access to me emotionally while still living like he’s fully single. Has anyone dealt with this kind of push-pull dynamic before?”