Boyfriend keeps having nightmares after certain sex positions
We had sex in the shower yesterday. We were standing up in a doggy position. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but this morning he told me he had two nightmares connected to his dysphoria afterward. This isn’t the first time it’s happened.
His dysphoria mainly comes through nightmares and unsettling dreams. This time it was about his chest. He hasn’t had top surgery yet. We have a jar we both put money into sometimes to save up for it, but prices keep going up, and sometimes we have to take money out just to get by, so we’re nowhere near affording it.
In the dream, he was going to a waterpark with friends. They all casually took their shirts off and kept going, but he had to stay behind. He kept trying on different bikini tops, but nothing worked, and he was panicking while his friends had already left.
This is a real life struggle for him, we cant go to any pools, waterparks.
I’m wondering if there’s anything that can help other than top surgery. Do we just stop doing those positions?
He wears binders every day. He hates taking them off, seeing his chest, but he doesnt like seeing his binder either without a shirt. During sex he’s either shirtless or wearing a binder with a shirt over it, but that kind of kills the intimacy.
He also tried trans tape before, but he couldn’t really get it to work for him.
When he’s naked and we do certain positions, especially ones where his body is facing downward and his chest is moving around, he tends to get nightmares afterward. Do we just avoid positions that trigger his dysphoria, or is there something else that could help?
Is he basically stuck waiting until he can afford top surgery?