Sabbath Breakers Club- Breaking Generational Cycles
I’ve long been a member of the Sabbath Breaker Club, but last week felt like a new milestone.
My daughter had her first middle school dance on Friday night. As I helped her pick a dress and get ready, I remembered my own teenage years. Unlike me at her age, my daughter is naturally slim, which reminded me how often I was told I was too fat for certain clothes. And how I must dress modestly but still somehow look attractive enough to catch a husband.
While helping her with makeup brought back memories of being told not to wear it because 'natural beauty was best.' I didn’t realize how repressed we were until I eventually left the sheltered SDA life.
Even after leaving, the lingering effects of purity culture continued to shape my life. I learned to present myself in ways that would please the male gaze without being seen as 'too provocative.' I grew up expected to be quiet, meek, and never challenge male authority.
As much as they tried to gaslight or redirect me, they could never tame my spirit. Something in me always stayed rebellious—always questioning and challenging them. Even my chosen profession wasn't traditional, and many people at church, including my mom, were trying to redirect me. I'm an engineer. The first in my family to choose not to be a nurse, teacher, or secretary. Thankfully, once I went to college, I was able to see things from a new perspective.
To this day, my mom still brings up something like equating wearing a necklace with not being "godly." Sometimes I still deal with body issues and try to figure out how to be comfortable in my own skin. The only thing I know for sure is that I won't pass those things on to the next generation.
Breaking generational cycles can look ordinary: a girl going to a dance, wearing makeup, laughing loudly with friends, and never feeling ashamed for existing. Real healing is empowering our children to embrace their full selves, free from the need to shrink to meet someone else’s idea of 'godly.'
How are you contributing to break the generational cycle?