r/exAdventist

title is a bit exaggerated lmaoo but genuinely that’s what ts feels like.

i’m 20 years old and just moved back into my parents house after living on-campus at my university for 2 years. they expect me to fall right back into their “household rules” of keeping the sabbath. this means no going out on fridays after sunset even if i’m not doing anything particularly crazy. tn i just wanted to go to the store with my friend, i told them i wasn’t buying anything & just wanted to spend time with her before she leaves for vacay in 2 days. they immediately said no.

i can’t work on friday nights or saturdays and i honor that even if it means losing money that i def need. i’m forced to go to church at least 2 times a month and when i don’t go i have to be out of bed, in the living room, watching virtual church. but the thing that frustrates me most is it’s a double standard. BOTH of them have worked on saturdays and have gone to brunches, dinners, and other activities during the sabbath hours. they are literally going to an event tomorrow during sabbath like what!! if they can make exceptions for themselves why is it a huge issue when it comes to me??

they make me feel like i’m not only disrespecting God but also disrespecting THEM for even considering going out on a friday night/saturday.

and it’s like bro how much longer do i have to put up with ts like seriously. its been this way my whole life and after getting a taste of college freedom I CAN’T continue to live like this. i’m miserable in this house. obviously can’t afford to move out in this economy and my parents still treat me like a damn child. they just can’t accept that i have free will. i literally don’t know what to do.

Hi all!

The second episode/part 2 of MORMON STORIES on Adventism is out! Please give us a listen, share, comment, etc, if possible...Gotta RAISE AWARENESS of the Adventist church any way we can, all day everyday!

(Even if you don't want to watch either of the episodes, it would be super helpful for Mormon Stories if you would go give them a just a few minutes watch time, a couple "Likes" and possibly even a comment or two - the podcast and John Dehlin are being sued by the LDS church for using the word "Mormon"... Even though up until the lawsuit , they have always violently protested against the word being applied to them as they prefer " Church of jesus christ of latter day saints" 🙄🙄 But suddenly they are using their billions and billions of dollars to sue ex- and anti-mormon creators over the use of "mormon" and...that's infuriating cult-control behavior!)

Context: I'm a high school senior in sda house. I have full tuition offers at some very small (800 enrollment) out of state sda colleges (parents would cover housing). I also have a full ride scholarship to a large (30,000 kids) out of state, state university. My parents strongly believe it is God's will to go to sda school.

I was planning to strike out on my own to go to the state school for a couple months. It represented freedom from religion and from my parents. However, I've recently had great communication breakthroughs with my parents about how I feel. We have gotten to the point where they understand my need for independence, and I no longer need to run away or lie.

For now, we have compromised on an sda school that is far away. I do think this would fulfill my need for freedom. Part of me still wants to go to the state school though, where I believe I would truly grow and flourish.

If I go to the sda school, I would likely lose my full ride to the state school and it is uncertain whether I could get another one.

I have full rides, so I technically can choose myself. However, because my parents say it is God's will for me to go, I don't have a good argument. I can either bring up points like the different environment and academic opportunities. However, my parents perceive that that means I value these things more than God's will. I could alternatively say I believe God's will is different. However, I can't back this up well. I can't say I have prayed more about this. (my parents have prayed for years for me to go sda uni while I haven't been praying much) I also can't win the theological debate (my dad has a masters in theology).

Does anyone have any advice or thoughts? I could not find many people on the subreddit with this situation. This is really hard for me.

Growing up as a pastor’s kid and golden child, my deconversion was rough. Things got bad enough with my dad that it turned physical at points. But over time, through a lot of fighting and conversations, my parents started to come around. They now accept my partner, know we’re moving in together and getting married without a conversion, and have said I’m still their child no matter what. I know how lucky I am compared to many of you guys. But the guilt trip doesn’t stop. “You’re breaking our hearts.” “You’re the reason mum cries herself to sleep.” This weekend I’m spending time with my partner instead of going to church and apparently that’s devastating to them too. I’m in my mid-20s, working 50-60 hour weeks, and when I get time off I want to rest and spend it with the people I love. I struggle to sit through 4 hours of church it genuinely triggers me. I try to do it once a month for them. I know they love me and I know they’re grieving, but I’m stuck in this loop of keep them happy or keep myself happy, and I can’t figure out how to stop feeling guilty for just living my life.

Just a rant

Hello, I'm Brazilian, and Brazil is the country with the largest number of Seventh-day Adventists in the world. Here, it's common to find SDA members in almost every city or neighborhood. For a while, I really loved that. When I was still Adventist, I felt proud and like the happiest person in the world.

However, when I moved away from my mother and my church to attend college in another city, I started interacting more with different people and questioning my religion. What led me into Adventism were Ellen White’s teachings. I read some of her books, but whenever I noticed something strange and tried to think critically, I would tell myself, “Oh, it’s just the context. I shouldn’t question God’s prophet.”

But today, I feel like I was deceived and controlled for much of my life. Thankfully, I’m only 18 years old and managed to leave that religion in time. Many people spend years of their lives feeling guilty for not being the perfect person the church says we should be.

Today, I feel lighter, and I’m still a Christian.

Like the title says, I have a good friend that is part of SDARM. I myself am Reformed and subscribe to covenant theology. We've had many conversations about the Sabbath, EGW, soul sleep, annihilationism, Investigative Judgment, and pretty much all unique SDA doctrine. My friend is such a staunch believer in all SDA doctrine and it absolutely blows my mind that he accepts EGW's credibility and writings without question.

I was wondering if this thread knows of any resources that I could recommend to him? Something that can gently push him in the right direction without being presumptuous?

He says salvation is by grace, through faith alone, but there are so many questionable secondary doctrines (not to mention modern prophetess) that I truly don't know if people of the SDA faith are Christians.

Before I say anything, I agree with the title above because it's true that you become who you surround yourself with. It is important to have company that makes you happy.

However, I think that SDAs (some or maybe most) take it to an extreme.

It's frustrating because imagine meeting genuinely good people in your life. Along the way, some individuals may broaden your perspective in life. But of course, once a minor change is noticed, everyone's saying you're long gone. Apparently, there is only one right way in life?

People outside the denomination can be good and even more of a blessing than those within. It's frustrating whenever "outsiders" are assumed to be bad influences of character and whatnot. No wonder many SDAs are socially stunted and inexperienced.