u/StretchIll373

I’m a dad of two beautiful childs, an asd 6yo girl and a NT 4yo boy.

Lately, the communication skill of my NT son exceeds my daughter. He asks questions “why”, trying to understand everything. He asks the future, what happens when he has certain ages.(“Que sera sera…”).

It is such a pleasure to have spontaneous talk and can go more deeply in each subject and the feeling you can transfer your knowledge. It is a joy that I did not have, that any parents of only NT children can easily take for granted. But I know it is precious and I treasure it.

We commit to our daughter’s therapies but I will not let the constant worry of autism and her future robes me the joy of being a parent of a NT child.

We know that an asd child needs a lot of attention, time and money to do all kinds of supports and therapies. In practice, it costs much more resources than a NT child (perhaps 2x, 3x). A NT sibling might have less resource he/she needed to thrive.

In short term, we can all focus on the asd child so they can learn as much as they can in young age (which is easier than in older age).

But in long term, how do you guys partition your resources into your children that make your asd child supports he/she needs but also not penalizing the potential of your NT children?

OK, it is nothing dramatic. My 6 yo asd daughter, as any children, asked for candy in the supermarket. I said "no". Then she immediately said: "candy is too sweet!", then move on.

She asked for granita, I said "no, it is too expensive". The she said: "the granita is too cold", then move on.

She asked for toy, I said "no". She said: "I have already many toys", then move on.

Some of the phrases are the reason/excuse we gave in the past. She recalled some and "invented" some reasons, it is like to reduce her desire or disappointment. I appreciate her answers but curious to know if your children say something similar.

(Of course, we already bought her many things)

Whenever I see posts her with level 1 asd daughters, I always see “masking”, “depression”, etc.

My 6yo daughter is in level 2 or 3, she’s happy in general. She can have meltdowns sometimes but it is not about masking. She does not mask.

My question is if she can improve, to level 1 for example, does it come with package of “high masking”, “depression” that I dont want at all? Is there level 1 asd daughters out there without much masking and depression?

It is image generated by AI for illustration.

My 6yo asd daughter has moved her fingers in front of her yes since 3yo. Gemini told me it is a stimming and explained why for me when I asked. Basically it said it is sensory seeking when light changes to the eyes. Well, it is AI and I need to check what it said.

Do your children have this finger flicking stimming? Why do they do that (if they can explain to you) ? Of course it is harmless but I’m curious.

My wife said it is kind of processing things when the brain is overwhelmed (like a hourglass in computer screen).