okay guys i’ve been reformed taylor is just awful.
as a survivor of abuse during pregnancy and PP I held a lot of space for taylor to heal. as i’ve dug into the nitty gritty of it, it has only become more and more apparent that she is not trying in the slightest to be better for her kids and is awful to her friends and this is where she has lost a lot of empathy from me. we call ourselves survivors not victims for a reason. choosing to see your self as a victim is keeping yourself stuck in a negative headspace as if you have no control over the situation and you can never truly heal when you view yourself as this “small fragile thing”. I know better than most how mentally fucked it is to be in a relationship like that and how hard it is to accept that at a certain point you’re allowing it to happen. that’s not blaming the victim for being abused it’s acknowledging that you do have the choice to leave and it brings so much shame even when that path brings a whole new set of issues. it took me a year from when the abusive behavior began,9m pregnancy and 3m pp, to work up the courage and also even have the opportunity to get out bc I couldn’t just put me and baby in the street and had talked to several lawyers who all told me I was fucked bc the system doesn’t care and wouldn’t allow me to leave the state and he could keep me trapped there unless I got a police record of abuse that the child was in danger (they don’t care if you’re abused only about the child it’s fucked). I only got out bc I thought of my baby first and didn’t react the way my body was screaming at me to. can’t say that I didn’t want to throw a chair at him several times but I didn’t bc i’d never do something that would risk custody of my kid and their safety or be used against me. having a record of abuse in front of my child specifically by calling the police was the only way I was able to escape out of state to family bc I was a sahm with no resources to escape on my own and shelters terrified me bc i’ve heard horror stories and it felt like staying w the evil I knew was better than going to an evil I didn’t. taylor has all the resources I could’ve only dreamed dreamed about and triple the amount of time to get the courage to cut it completely. it’s not blaming the victim to acknowledge that we have to get ourselves out of the situation bc our abuser isn’t going to just let us go. it’s not blaming the victim to acknowledge that trauma isn’t an excuse to hurt other people. i’m not saying you can’t fight back against abuse i’m saying in this system you have to be smart about it especially when a child’s involved, and with all her lawyers and PR team it’s hard to believe nobody gave her the advice I was given especially after her initial arrest. the girls have every right to finally say enough is enough we won’t be abused just bc you’re in pain.