Do avoidants ever cry, feel pain, feel ashamed, or even depressed during the months following the breakup ?

Idk, I feel like I’m stuck in the process of recovery and of grief because if I had only one evidence this breakup has hurt him in a way, I would be more at peace with myself.

I’m not mature enough and I would lie if I told you « I don’t care wherever he suffers from the breakup or not, I only focus on me 🤗 » idccccc I want him to feel at least 5% of the pain I felt

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I’m traumatized. 😀

The 2nd (and final) discard happened 6 months ago, over the phone, on Valentine’s Day. Never heard about him since then.

Not a single sign he’s alive.

Except he is posting on social media and it looks like life is going amazing for him, more money, more professional opportunities, a lot of vacations with his friends, he hard launched her girlfriend on IG and went on vacations with her (he never posted me in 2 years of relationship and broke up 1 week before our first vacations together)

I still cry like crazy to this day. Not because I love him and want him back, but because of the anger, the pain and the sadness.

Like, how can someone be so cruel and so fake and life treat them so good and they sleep so well at night ?

I need to understand why is my ex (the dumper) SO MAD AT ME after the break up. It’s been 5 months and it feels like I am the one who dumped him because he’s so closed off and cold and mad ? Like it doesn’t make sense…

He discarded me 5 months ago, on Valentine’s Day. Only told me over the phone « I want to be single, you deserve better, I won’t ever be the one you want me to be »

I went silent since day one, after the break up.
And I never heard of him since then.

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He wanted space and me out of his life, I gave it to him. So what’s the problem ?

I find it difficult to grieve whilst I still can’t understand why he is so angry and quiet.

✍️ I’ve been tattooing for years and started with a 3.5mm stroke Neutron Equalizer.
Really nice, but not punchy enough.

➡️ So I bought 2 Bishop Power Wands 2 years ago and been tattooing with it ever since :
• The Liner (5mm)
• The Packer (4.2 mm)

🫩 Honestly my tattoos look great once healed (that’s why I keep tattooing with them lol) BUT the process is SO ANNOYING to the point I don’t even enjoy most of my sessions :

❌ since day one, I’ve noticed how messy those 2 machines were. The ink just spills and squirts everywhere, no matter the voltage, the amount of ink in the cartridge, the amount and type of ointment, no matter the cartridge brand, the sizes of the needles…

It doesn’t do that with other machines, only with the Bishops.

💦 The ink flow is pretty bad, I have to refill my cartridge every 2 lines because of the ink just spilling all over the skin.

So I need some tips, ‘cause they are so expensive lol and as I said the result is great, but as it’s so messy, my sessions taxe time x2 because I spend more time refilling my cartridges and cleaning the mess than actually tattoing. It sucks.