When I was first diagnosed, I was convinced I had to say sayonara forever to dating. But six years, a few relationships, and one fiancé later (all HSV negative), I can tell you the biggest roadblock often isn't herpes itself…it's how you feel about it and what you think of yourself.
Getting educated, working through shame, and knowing what to say and when to say it helped me turn the ship around, build confidence, and actually date + get the relationship I wanted.
As someone with a comms background who loves thinking about how to word things, I've put a lot of thought into disclosure over the years — what works, what tanks it, and why. I've also helped others navigate their own disclosures successfully.
So I finally sat down and compiled everything into a guide: how HSV actually works, transmission rates by type, the history of the stigma (it's wild and worth knowing), working through shame, how to prepare and approach disclosure, and 12 ready-to-use disclosure scripts for genital HSV, oral HSV, and asymptomatic carriers — vetted by HSV-negative people, covering text and verbal disclosures, dating and hookup scenarios for anyone.
It's 40+ pages, 5 chapters, and something you can dog ear and come back to again and again. If you're interested, you can learn more + grab it on my Substack here.
No pressure — just sharing in case someone needs some advice right now!