What do you do when fate doesn't like you?
Sorry for the rampant doomposts/vents but I have some stuff to get out of my chest.
Does anyone else feel like whatever they do, life just takes the wrong turn whenever presented an opportunity, even when you play most of your cards right, or is it just a me problem? Because genuinely at this point I do not know what on earth is happening anymore. This campus is the spawn of satan and I swear I feel cursed living here.
Coming off an unusually terrible friday, the last thing i needed was a long ass power cut during the sunniest and hottest time of the day, in a long weekend where I had planned a bunch of activities to do with my friends all of which needed electricity btw. Does the management not care a little bit about the students, or am i just assuming the worst from them? But the frequency of the power outages off late is crazy and I literally can't be productive without power.
I fee like i keep losing people in my life like flies. Friends, classmates, mutuals, and whomsoever I try talking to somehow, in one way or the other, just... drift away. Am I the problem? This shit has been happening my whole life and at this point I'm too afraid to talk to people as I'll be the one who ends up getting hurt seeing them go despite all the time I had spent with them. Makes me question my worth and self-value. Is something wrong with me? Do I just not fit in? Or am I just fated to be eternally lonely? God knows
And academically, why is it that I somehow get god awful faculties? Last semester was literally the worst where I felt like none of the staff were ever interested in the subject they taught. Thankfully this semester at least few of the staff are better, but there do exist some who quite literally use fearmongering as their method of teaching, and others who come to class with less preparation that a student who was tasked to take a lecture for a small topic would. I do like learning, but the teachers here literally make interesting subjects quite literally intolerable, be it because of their attitude, or knowledge.
At this point I legit do not know what to do. I am not suicidal or weak minded, but I'm in such a stage where I can understand why people would feel such a way. I really need to get out of this hell hole of a college that's built on land meant for a prison, and treats its students as prisoners, but I'm stuck here for the next year and a half. How on earth do i even proceed?