The old ball and chain
Let me just start off by saying that I’m really grateful to have found this community - I thought that I was going insane. On a second note, why are so many men dognutters? Some of the stories I read here are WILD.
I got a great job offer abroad and moved - my fiancee moved in a few months later with her dog. At time, back in our home country, things worked well and I was so preoccupied at the time with establishing myself in a new country and city that I didn’t even consider the consequences of allowing her to bring her dog.
This dog is a mess. A rescue mutt, around 9kg, extremely “reactive” because she is “traumatised”. My fiancee is completely obsessed with this dog and not only has it been extremely frustrating for reasons that I will explain below, but it has also started giving me the ick.
- We cannot travel. No dog hotels will take this mutt because it’s reactive and won’t shut up, but it also attacked three pet sitters that we attempted to hire. As a consequence, we have been stuck in this city for 3 years - no travel anywhere, not even a weekend getaway.
- We can’t have guests over because the dog will freak out and won’t shut up, as a result our social life is practically dead.
- Our whole lives and schedules revolve around this dog. My fiancee will freak out if she doesn’t walk it twice a day, so we can’t go out and spend the afternoon, have dinner and drinks because we must go home to walk the dog.
- The dog has ruined a couch, it destroyed my passport.
- She has “separation anxiety”, so the dog will be a nuisance to neighbours and freak out whenever we dare to leave our apartment.
- My fiancee constantly talks about this dog. Constantly seeks validation regarding the dog. It was a major effort from my end to keep the dog out of our bedroom. Constantly sends me pictures of the dog, even though I ignore it.
- Sometimes she will come up with excuses for me to walk this burden and I, like an idiot, fall for it. “I’m on my period”, “I’m not feeling well”
I find it absolutely disgusting and I can no longer hide my complete disdain and dislike for this dog. I’m preparing to offer her an ultimatum at the end of the year. The dog gets to go back to our home country and stay with her mother, or I’m calling off this engagement, moving out and she can do whatever she wants with the dog.
Things worked when we were in our home country, because the dog could just stay with her mother constantly. I never even thought that this would end up being such a huge part of my life and such a fucking nightmare.
Whenever I bring my deep unhappiness or dislike over our current arrangement and I lament how small our lives together have become because of this dog and her obsession with it, she immediately gets extremely hostile and argumentative. This dog is her religion.
I am bitter, I am resentful, I am tired and I am lonely and I am just about done with this smelly, useless, stupid ball and chain of a beast and her unnatural ick inducing attachment to it.
I am young (31) and can still come back from this. Her decision I guess. I am done