Was I overstepping as a friend?
Sorry for the long post:
Just to preface the situation, I have a group of friends, S, C, L, and G. C is diagnosed with various mental disorders (depression, I think BPD \\\[she mentioned she thinks she has this but L said she told her that she lied about getting an actual diagnosis\\\]). S is very non-confrontational and always tends to back down in stressful times.
C was at one of her “low points” again. She is irritable and quick to anger/upset during these times. S was studying for her physics test when C asked if she wanted anything from the snack store. S said no but C got her a cup of ramen (not boiled) anyways. S said she didn’t want it but C kept offering her the ramen. When S didn’t take it, C threw the cup at her and ran away. G and I were there and we immediately asked S if she was ok. S said it did hurt a little but she needed to study so we all decided to keep eating.
2 days later, C approached me and starting a conversation as if nothing had happened. I was uncomfortable as I didn’t know if she had apologized to S yet. While we were getting lunch (our school has packed lunch so we don’t have to eat in the cafeteria), I asked her if she had apologized to S yet. C said no and asked me if I had thought she wasn’t going to. I said of course not, and said that I just thought her apologizing soon would be good. She suddenly started talking about her difficult week and how hard she had been trying, I told her I didn’t want to hear anything about it until she apologized to S. We parted ways and she was crying then. Later, at the area my friends always eat lunch, C approached S and asked to talk in private. A little while later, S came back but without C. G, L, and I asked S if C had apologized to her. S said C hadn’t and had even told her that she actually didn’t feel bad about what she did. But because S wasn’t comfortable with confronting C, she didn’t say anything else and had just left the conversation at that.
C contacted me online and told me how I had overstepped my boundaries as a friend. She said that I always did this when incidents happened and that she didn’t appreciate me deciding things for her. I was very confused at first but I think I can see why she would think this way. I apologized for doing so but told her I wanted to distance myself from her as I wasn’t comfortable with the things she had done. C said she was okay with that and we ended the conversation there.
I found out a bit later that C had talked to S and L behind my back. She called me unsympathetic, judgemental, and said that my eyes had an “inhumane look” (yes, she said this verbatim) when she was telling me about her difficult week. I feel really bad for what happened but I don’t think I’m in the wrong here? G is supporting me, S doesn’t want to bring up the situation again, and L said I did overstep but she understands why I did. What should I have done? Am I really in the wrong?