u/Substantial_Tale2239

both on the internet and in real life.

whenever someone ugly comes up on my for you page, all the comments making fun of them are written by people who are either completely average or actually below average. 4.5s making fun of 3s. sometimes it’s even 3s making fun of 2s.

and in school, the guys who made fun of me the most are also completely average looking, except one guy who had a nice face but was very short.

back in middle school there was a girl who was EXTREMELY beautiful, like victoria’s secret model level beauty. and she was the least judgemental person. she never participated in bullying.

i assume they do this as a way to cement their place in the attractiveness hierarchy?

i guess it’s similar to when someone does or says something morally wrong and they point to someone
worse than them to say “see!! i’m not that bad!!”

keep in mind in this post i am talking only about the act of bullying. attractive people have the same thoughts but dont verbalize it.

since i was about 10 years old, i have been obsessed with beautiful women such as brooke shields and adriana lima. i watched all the interviews i could find and tried to learn about their personal lives. also some from the 50s like audrey hepburn and sofia loren but less so because they don’t have as many pictures and interviews.

i guess im obsessed with seeing the way people treat them and how their personalities have developed because of it? i also sometimes copy their personalities and mannerisms.. even though it’s not the same on my ugly face

the one interview where an ugly guy tells adriana lima that she makes other beautiful women look like pigs kills me.. because its true. a girl from a poor small town in brazil got a net worth of over 100 million dollars because of her face. if she had been born with different features she’d be a nobody like the rest of us.

i have an unhealthy obsession with adriana lima especially. i have scrolled through her name on getty images endlessly and found so many rare photos of her. but it hurts me to know if i ever met her she would smile as she always does with fans but who knows how she really feels on the inside, she probably would look down on me like every rich person.

sometimes i think about the time when she said in a speech that one time when she was still poor in brazil her and her friend got robbed and the robber shot her friend right in front of her, killing her. ana paula arosio went through something similar where her fiancé shot himself in front of her. and of course as we know brooke shields had a bad childhood full of exploitation by pedophiles. i think about this sometimes when i see pictures of these women smiling.. how does their trauma affect them? is their smile genuine?

another thing i am obsessed with especially is learning about these women’s romantic lives. despite being the most beautiful women in the world they didnt get into relationships with any special guys. you would think someone who looks like adriana lima would be married to a billionaire rather than some unknown guys

when i first saw adriana limas husband as a kid it genuinely made me mad that she would reproduce with such an ugly guy, haha. just goes to show that even children judge looks very harshly

i wish i could talk to a therapist about this but they would judge the fuck out of me. these dumb therapists would probably tell me some bullshit like i’m not ugly anyways

i grew up as the fattest kid in class. i hit puberty earlier than everyone else so i had acne and facial hair too. i probably smelled bad too because my mom never taught me hygiene, i only started learning it from the internet when i was around 12. i have a weird head shape and masculine features.

i hate how much i degraded myself for male attention… sending nudes on snapchat men i barely knew who probably send them to other people. i used to google ways to get guys to like you and then i somehow ended up in the red pill manosphere. i was a pick me for a while but then all the misogyny in that space just became too much so now im on the opposite end of the spectrum.

if i had just gotten male attention in the first place like every other girl none of this would have happened. other girls would get cute gifts from their boyfriends and those same guys would make fun of my looks. if my genes turned out a little differently, my life would be so much better. my mom was actually quite pretty in her prime so that just makes everything sting so much worse. instead i got my dads masculine features.

its so unfair. my life is a joke.