Coparenting and Extended Family
My ex-wife and I are officially divorced and currently dealing with ongoing court issues. Divorce was due to infidelity on her side. Divorce was cordial, but ex started making things difficult and controlling (telling me what i can do on my custodial days, relaying adult convos to my young kids, saying negative things about my GF and things that I do on my custodial days to my kids to control my time with them. She recently served me while I was with my kids at there practice by one of the other students moms. In these documents, she is accusing me of things that I have text proof and documentation that is false. Obviously, the co-parenting situation is not well right now.
My custodial days are Sun, M,T,W. On my ex’s custodial day Thursdays, my mom has usually been the one picking up my daughter from school to help out. My mom has done this for the most part. But due to recent events, and accusations, my mom and I had a conversation and feel its best to create space and no longer put her in that position.
Because of all of this, my mom and I would stop doing Thursday pickups on my ex’s custody day. I let my ex know my mom is no longer available. My thinking is:
- it’s her custodial time,
- transportation arrangements during her parenting time are ultimately her responsibility,
- and if she needs help, she can communicate directly with me as the children’s father.
- Until legal issues are resolved, it reduces unnecessary conflict and communication
My kids’ safety and wellbeing are still my top priority, and I would never put them in a bad situation. But I also feel like boundaries after divorce are healthy and necessary, and each parent should start handling their own responsibilities independently.
What’s frustrating is my brother is now questioning me and acting like we're wrong. From my perspective, these are my children, this is a parenting/logistics decision between me and my ex, and I don’t understand why extended family thinks they should have input. They've also fully kept her in there life after I've asked for a little space with the recent lawsuit and allegations.
Am I being unreasonable here, or is it fair to step back and create more separation/boundaries after divorce?