Talk me out of enacting this insane fantasy?
So, I’m (39F) going thru a divorce, now live alone, and I’ve developed a fantasy that I am dangerously close to enacting even tho I know it’s insanely stupid and unsafe. Talk me out of it!
In short, it’s a “horny intruder” kinda setup… I find a stranger who’ll drop by my house in a balaclava to fuck me til we both cum, then leaves. If it’s any good, we make it a regular thing. I do not want to know this persons name, or see their face.
This is not a “rape” scenario, I don’t want to be in pain… in fact, kissing (I can’t cum without kissing, idk), foreplay, respectful connection would have to be requirements. Minimal communication save for basic instruction/affirmation. I want safe, hot, steamy, makeout anonymous sex with a masked stranger like twice a month.
The issues are of course:
- I’d have to trust a stranger to respect my boundaries as they’re stated, and/or not rape, rob, or murder me.
- I have no guarantee they’re clean/ I would suggest sharing regular STD testing results but obviously honor system applies here.
- No way to be sure I’m not an unwitting participant in home wrecking or a betrayal of partnership.
- They’d know where I live, they’d know what I look like.
- What if it goes the way I’m fantasizing and I catch feelings?
- Yes, I’ve talked to my therapist 😂
Has anyone out there had an arrangement like this before? Most interested in women’s experiences? I’ve been out of the scene for a (long) time, where would one post a request like this and find someone who’ll take it seriously/not take advantage?
Dudes, is this an arrangement any of you would find hot- boundaries included?
Is this an insane thing to do??? Someone talk me out of this, I can’t stop thinking about it.